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November 29, 2005
November 26, 2005
I'm humping my computer RIGHT NOW
I'm sure you all know this already, but I just figured it out- EBAY ROCKS.
I'm selling stuff, and people are BUYING it.
MONEY!
Also, a friend of mine gave me Photoshop.
I've already given myself a third eye. Next, I'm going to give myself three boobs. You know what they say, the more the merrier.
Now I am spending even MORE time on the computer.
My carpal tunnel infested hands feel like someone set them on fire, but I WILL NOT BE STOPPED.
November 24, 2005
Was it worth having sex with her, Nick?
November 23, 2005
I'll take An Album Cover for $200, Alex
As most of you know, I'm a big nerd.
I like to do crossword puzzles, watch documentaries on the Discovery channel, and I've played Scrabble MANY more times than I've been drunk.
So, I'm sure it is no surprise to you that I watch Jeopardy. RELIGIOUSLY.
When Ken Jennings was on the show it was some of the most riveting television I've ever seen.
I love Jeopardy, but it has to be good 'ol REGULAR Jeopardy. I can deal with the Tournament of Champions (I cannot believe that guy beat Ken Jennings),but it has to be the adult version.
Lately, however, Jeopardy has been trying out some new formats to entice a different audience.
Apparently, me and a bunch of old people covered in Vicks are not enough to make the ratings soar.
In the past couple of months there's been Celebrity Jeopardy, College Jeopardy, High School Jeopardy,and Kid's Jeopardy.
What's next? Fetus Jeopardy?
"You were this before you became an embryo"
"What is a zygote?"
"Correct!"
Well, maybe Fetus Jeopardy wouldn't be so bad.
At least I'd have a shot at getting all of the questions right.
November 22, 2005
Moist
Yeah, walking the dog in a Nor'easter is tons of fun.
November 21, 2005
My camera, it is done
When I was 18 I was deciding between culinary school and photography school.
I chose culinary school because I met with a photographer who dissuaded me from choosing his profession.
He said that you could take a crappy picture, scan it into a computer and fix it and that because of this everyone was trying to be a photographer.
It's not that I regret culinary school, baking is a great skill to have, but I do regret not going to photography school.
I wonder if I would have become as bored with photography as I did with wedding cakes. I knew there was a problem when after three years of being a pastry chef I realized I liked putting the fresh flowers on the cakes more than I liked baking and assembling the cakes. Maybe I should have been a florist?
And, I often wonder, if I had chosen to be a photographer if I would have had as many physical ailments as I do now? Would I have needed shoulder surgery?
Even though I chose the culinary path I never lost my interest in photography. I have boxes and albums filled with photos. But, my photography always came in spurts. I would take pictures five days in a row and then not touch my camera again for three weeks.
It wasn't until I had my shoulder surgery and found myself sitting at home without a job for the first time since I was twelve, that I started taking pictures almost every single day.
It hasn't been easy. I've been using the digital camera my husband got in college. It's about seven or eight years old.
When it first came out it was a great camera; Now it's archaic.
Not only is it frustrating that I see something I want to capture and the camera can't handle it, but the camera has now started to fall apart.
The following is a list of things wrong with the camera.
1)The case is cracked
2)It uses up battery power WAY too fast.
3)The flash is stuck, so if you want to use it you have to pry it open.
4)The lens covering gets stuck sometimes.
5)When the lens covering actually opens sometimes it gives you an error message saying the lens is stuck.
6)The flap that covers the slot where the card goes in is broken and keeps flapping open.
7)The buttons that are used to navigate the view finder and change the settings stick.
I can't afford photography school, but I've thought of maybe taking a photography class.
I'm pretty sure you need a camera that works to take a class.
I, of course, can not afford a new camera.
I could buy a cheap $100 digital camera, but I refuse.
What's the point? I would be frustrated all over again.
I need a camera that can handle some serious shit. I need a camera that I can change the settings on. I need a camera that has different lenses.
I walk around and see all of these great photographic opportunities that I've missed.
I know I have great potential, I just need the right tool.
I don't see this situation being remedied any time soon.
My husband's salary is not going to increase substantially for another three years, we are trying to have a baby which means I won't be going back to work and we'll have even less money. Babies are EXPENSIVE. As it is I'm going to have to sell my hair.
I thought maybe I could raise enough money from Cafe Press, but I've only made $150 and 10% of that goes to charity, and now that I'm dot com I have to pay hosting fees every month.
And, something tells me $1,000 isn't going to fall out of the sky tomorrow.
So, I've decided to throw in the towel. I give up. I'm putting the camera away.
Maybe I'll take it out on special occasions, but right now it's giving me more frustration that joy.
I need a new hobby.
Any suggestions?
November 16, 2005
Peter Pan
Last night, I stuck my finger in the husband's nose and then tried to stick the same finger in his mouth, while yelling "EAT IT!" at him.
I torture him like this all the time. It's especially fun to do while he's driving and can't fight back.
Finger in the nose, finger in the ear, pinch the nipple. He even made it part of our wedding vows.
When my father, who is twice divorced and bitter, stayed with us recently he said to me one morning "I heard you guys laughing and having a good time last night"
"I'm sorry, were we being too loud?"
"No, no, it was just nice to hear how much fun you two have together"
He had a good point. The husband and I do have a great time together, but we often wonder what people would think if they knew what we were laughing at.
For lack of a better term, we are silly.
We have contests to see who can make the ugliest face, and then argue over who won, we giggle when someone mentions Dr. Bone, and orthopedist, and we instantly turn into Beavis and Butthead when we hear the words, boob, poop, or rectal.
Hee hee. RECTAL.
I'm often afraid that the Grown Up Police will come to my door and arrest me for impersonating a grown up.
My husband and I have a lot of stress and responsibilities in our lives, so is it really such a bad thing that we spend our down time having nostril flaring contests?
I think too many people rush to be "adults" and they leave their childhoods in the dust. Sometimes, they are so busy being adults, they forget how to relate to children, or how to have fun.
I know a couple who has an almost thirteen year old daughter who is having some behavioral problems. They think that when she turns 15, things will change and she will get better. Don't ask me why they've chosen 15 as the magic age, but it's like they don't remember what being 15 is like. NOTHING gets better at 15. They're so busy playing adult, they've forgotten what it's like to be a kid, much less a teenager.
I think there is a balance between being a responsible adult and still having fun.
I think my husband and I have achieved that balance.
I take care of sick relatives, pay the bills, take the animals to the vet, and run the household, but I also, sit on the floor and play with my dog, watch cartoons, drink hot chocolate, like to color with crayons, love Disney movies, and when I feel sick, I want my mommy.
In some ways I think our "immaturity" will make us better parents because we will be able to relate to, and understand, our children.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult, I'm going to cling to my childhood for as long as I can.
Are you with me?
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Make yourself comfortable.
See my old blog here:
www.iprettymuchhateeverything.blogspot.com