My camera, it is done
When I was 18 I was deciding between culinary school and photography school.
I chose culinary school because I met with a photographer who dissuaded me from choosing his profession.
He said that you could take a crappy picture, scan it into a computer and fix it and that because of this everyone was trying to be a photographer.
It's not that I regret culinary school, baking is a great skill to have, but I do regret not going to photography school.
I wonder if I would have become as bored with photography as I did with wedding cakes. I knew there was a problem when after three years of being a pastry chef I realized I liked putting the fresh flowers on the cakes more than I liked baking and assembling the cakes. Maybe I should have been a florist?
And, I often wonder, if I had chosen to be a photographer if I would have had as many physical ailments as I do now? Would I have needed shoulder surgery?
Even though I chose the culinary path I never lost my interest in photography. I have boxes and albums filled with photos. But, my photography always came in spurts. I would take pictures five days in a row and then not touch my camera again for three weeks.
It wasn't until I had my shoulder surgery and found myself sitting at home without a job for the first time since I was twelve, that I started taking pictures almost every single day.
It hasn't been easy. I've been using the digital camera my husband got in college. It's about seven or eight years old.
When it first came out it was a great camera; Now it's archaic.
Not only is it frustrating that I see something I want to capture and the camera can't handle it, but the camera has now started to fall apart.
The following is a list of things wrong with the camera.
1)The case is cracked
2)It uses up battery power WAY too fast.
3)The flash is stuck, so if you want to use it you have to pry it open.
4)The lens covering gets stuck sometimes.
5)When the lens covering actually opens sometimes it gives you an error message saying the lens is stuck.
6)The flap that covers the slot where the card goes in is broken and keeps flapping open.
7)The buttons that are used to navigate the view finder and change the settings stick.
I can't afford photography school, but I've thought of maybe taking a photography class.
I'm pretty sure you need a camera that works to take a class.
I, of course, can not afford a new camera.
I could buy a cheap $100 digital camera, but I refuse.
What's the point? I would be frustrated all over again.
I need a camera that can handle some serious shit. I need a camera that I can change the settings on. I need a camera that has different lenses.
I walk around and see all of these great photographic opportunities that I've missed.
I know I have great potential, I just need the right tool.
I don't see this situation being remedied any time soon.
My husband's salary is not going to increase substantially for another three years, we are trying to have a baby which means I won't be going back to work and we'll have even less money. Babies are EXPENSIVE. As it is I'm going to have to sell my hair.
I thought maybe I could raise enough money from Cafe Press, but I've only made $150 and 10% of that goes to charity, and now that I'm dot com I have to pay hosting fees every month.
And, something tells me $1,000 isn't going to fall out of the sky tomorrow.
So, I've decided to throw in the towel. I give up. I'm putting the camera away.
Maybe I'll take it out on special occasions, but right now it's giving me more frustration that joy.
I need a new hobby.
Any suggestions?
Comments
Well, don't give it up completely! Plus, if you get pregnant eventually you NEED to have a FANCY camera so you can take pictures, right? Think of your posterity! They'll need to see the kid.
But, since you are a dot com you can buy the fancy camera and take it as a TAX WRITE OFF! Maybe that sort of thing only works if you are Enron or WorldComm, though.
Posted by: Jon Deal | November 21, 2005 03:33 PM
Well I dont think you should give up the camera, but if your looking for hobbies my boobies are always available.
And yes, you can totally make my boobies a hobby, trust me.
Posted by: JessicaRabbit | November 21, 2005 04:41 PM
I think that people just need to DONATE TO YOUR FUND there, and get you your new camera. We don't want to stop seeing your pictures.
You'll need a camera to capture all the cute baby moments anyway, when they arrive!
Posted by: Adrienne | November 21, 2005 06:22 PM
Knitting. Knitting is hip these days. And hey, you can make baby booties!
Posted by: kalki | November 21, 2005 06:39 PM
Jon, I think I'm going to look into that tax thing.
Jess, your boobs are ALREADY one of my hobbies.
Adrienne, I really didn't post this because I wanted donations (although I wouldn't complain), I just needed to rant.
Kalki, I've developed Carpal tunnel syndrome, so knitting is out.
Posted by: Torrie | November 21, 2005 06:50 PM
maybe a Nikon is a more than a bit down the road, BUT try to save up for at least a $300 cam -you'll need one for takin' baby pics anyhow, right? can't have a baby come before a camera... you'll go nuts without a cam to capture adorable baby pics. Just save and pick out a nice Canon or a Sony in the low-midrange. Don't give up -
Posted by: Annejelynn | November 21, 2005 09:29 PM
Torrie, never give up on a dream. Don't regret decisions you made in the past; know that they were the correct decisions to make in that moment. Yes I should have done this and that and if I had I bet my book would be finished by now and I'd be shopping it around...BUT it would be quite a different book if I hadn't gone through the experiences that made me want to write it down this way, and I like my book. I believe in it so I'm gonna finish it. You may have to put your photography on hold for a bit, but never deny your true passions. If you feel you have something in you which has to be expressed, you owe it to yourself to express it, baby. You do yourself a diservice and deny your true self by closing the door on a part of yourself which begs for expression. So put it on hold but go back to it when you can. That's my two cents. :)
Posted by: Laryssa | November 22, 2005 11:49 AM
Torrie, don't give up. I was a photography major at one point and left it because a famous photographer here in Spain told us what his life was like and it did not appeal to me. Basically, a lot of running around, competing, scratching and clawing your way into every job. Plus, I love the art of photography, the release it provided me with, the challenge of improving and creating... and I had no need for the approval of others nor to sell my work. So I then became a Creative Writing Major and am now a yoga teacher.
I had shelved the photgraphy dreams but then my husband surprised with a camera for our anniversary. I got it 2 years ago and back then it was one of the latest.
It is a Canon Power Shoot G5 (I am a total Canon snob) with 5.0 MegaPixels. It is amazing and would more than do the job. And the best part is that back then he got it for me on eBay for $400.
Try eBay. Focus in on what you want and search for it. Don't give up because when you do have a child, it will help you to have something just for you. They are a joy but constant giving can wear thin and a little indulgence just for you will make you a better mom. See, you are actually being altruistic! ;-)
Your post could not have come at a more interesting time for me since just now, after years of not touching a camera artistically, I have the itch to get back to it. Now I am working on the discipline of taking it with me wherever I go.
Keep us posted on what you do.
Posted by: Miz BoheMia | November 22, 2005 12:37 PM
I got a Canon S2 IS, 5 mp with a 12x zoom, used for around $400. I didn't think you were trying to get donations... but I bet it'd help the camera fund!
Posted by: Adrienne | November 22, 2005 08:35 PM
WAIT. $1000 isn't going to fall out of the sky tomorrow? There goes my whole belief system!
Seriously, though, the thing about life is that it is never too late to change your mind and change your direction. You are still so young! After your hubby finishes his residency, then you can take your turn and go back to school. But in the meantime, I agree with those who have suggested getting a modestly priced camera. 3 or 4 megapixels may not get you award-winning photographs (although they might!) but they will be enjoyable to you. And that is important.
Posted by: Ern | November 24, 2005 02:09 PM
I say "Do whatever makes you happy", and if you can't because you don't know what that is yet, then just try your luck at several things, and have fund along the way. I was told something once when I was little, "Happiness is a journey, not a destination". I like it, and live by it.
Posted by: Kylz | November 25, 2005 08:22 AM