Doctor, doctor, give me the news
Every night when my husband gets home from work I ask him how his day was.
Now, I know I'm not the only person in the world married to a doctor, but he tells me some pretty crazy stories-REALLY CRAZY- and it's so frustrating that I can't write about them here.
I can however tell you about Kidney transplants because those happen every day and this doesn't pertain to a particular patient.
Keep in mind when you're reading this that I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
So, you need a kidney transplant because one of your kidneys is sick and not working properly, if at all.
You wait for a kidney. They find a match, thanks to some generous organ donor.
They wheel you into surgery to give you your new kidney.
So, I bet you're thinking the surgery goes like this:
Cut open patient.
Remove diseased kidney.
Insert new kidney.
Sew up patient.
But, no. That's not how they do it.
Here's how an actual kidney transplant goes:
Cut open patient.
JAM NEW KIDNEY INTO BODY CAVITY WITHOUT REMOVING THE OLD ONE.
Sew up patient.
That's right. They don't take out the old, diseased, shriveled up kidney.
They just shove the new one in there.
I don't know about you, but I was not aware that there was so much extra room in the body cavity that you could just shove extra organs in there.
Doesn't that sound like something they would have done, oh I don't know, in the 1700's before they figured out basic human anatomy?
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just the tip of the iceberg.
*Update- The husband just read this and wanted me to add that they put the new Kidney IN YOUR PELVIS.
Now, excuse me while I go read one of the 20 anatomy books we have because I'm pretty sure KIDNEYS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE PELVIS.
Comments
Do they at least ATTACH the new one?
Posted by: New Blue Shoe | February 24, 2006 12:59 PM
That's so funny, er...maybe not. I hope I never need a new kidney.
Posted by: Michele | February 24, 2006 01:09 PM
Mmmmm, sounds delicious! I had no idea the procedure went like that... I guess it's to kinda help prevent rejection? Hmmm...interesting.
Posted by: Seacreature | February 24, 2006 01:19 PM
Holy shit! I never, ever, would have guessed that they didn't remove the old kidney.
1700's...yes it does.
I am scared to think of what you know via your Dr. husband that we all don't!
Posted by: Sarah | February 24, 2006 01:21 PM
I don't get it...how does the new kidney start working? Isn't it attached to anything? I'm so clueless....as well as confused!!!
Posted by: Suzie | February 24, 2006 01:23 PM
And don't they also nest the new kidney down in the pelvis? So it's not next to the old ones, it's further south.
I think they don't get rid of the old one because your kidneys do mare than just make pee. They also regulate certain electrolyte levels in the body. So even though the "dead" kidney might not work properly, it still might be doing something useful.
(not a doc., but my mother-in-law had all kinds of weird kidney problems before she died.)
Posted by: jon deal | February 24, 2006 01:33 PM
I had no idea, how strange.
It makes sense though, that we have lots of extra room in our guts -- I mean, if I can shove an entire Chipotle burrito in there, I imagine there's enough room for a lil ol' kidney. :-P
Posted by: Sherri | February 24, 2006 01:43 PM
WOW. I'm totally shocked. I agree with you...how the hell is there enough room in there, without having random kidneys poking out in weird ways?
I guess my impression of human physiology is a little lacking.
Posted by: LeafGirl77 | February 24, 2006 02:49 PM
Somehow I don't think I need more shit in my pelvic region. My pelvic region could actually use some shrinking.
Also that post does not give me a peaceful feeling should I ever need to go in the hospital.
Posted by: southernfriedgirl | February 24, 2006 06:53 PM
The Organ Crammers. My next rock band.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | February 24, 2006 07:03 PM
They don't take the kidneys out, because getting a kidney out of a body is a HUGE pain in the ass, which is why it is much harder to give a kidney than it is to receive a kidney.
I know this because I am waiting for transfer and it's one of the many, many, many weird and unpleasant things you find out when your body decides to crap out on you.
On the upside, it's good info for creeping out teenage relatives.
Posted by: Tracy Lynn | February 24, 2006 07:10 PM
Doctors always have the best stories. Especially urologists. (I know Seinfeld says proctologists, but trust me.)
Is Dr. Torrie a general surgeon?
Posted by: Ern | February 24, 2006 09:26 PM
oh weird. one more thing for me to be paranoid about in life. *note to self: NEVER have icky kidney*
Posted by: Sarcomical | February 25, 2006 01:15 AM
You KNOW how much I love grilling Doctor Torrie about weird and wild medical cases. I think you should post some of the penis stories. Now those are classics. Heh.
Posted by: Fuzzball | February 25, 2006 01:36 AM
Do you even know that I almost fell over when my mother told me she has 3 kidneys!? And she never had a transplant. She has two working ones, and a very small one that doesn't work at all. Totally Ripley's Believe it or Not! Wow.
Posted by: LotionBarBunny | February 25, 2006 04:04 PM
So, it might sound odd, but I was bored at work and somehow stumbled upon your page. I just sat here for the last hour or so and read every one of your entries. To tell you the truth, i am enamored. You seem like an amazing person and I truly feel like i know you after reading all of your entries. I want you to know that your strength through all of your trials and tribulations has truly inspired me and although I have never met you, I want you to know that I think you are a fabulous person.
Posted by: Donna | February 25, 2006 05:20 PM
*hugging Donna*
Girl, you've got good taste!
Posted by: Fuzzball | February 25, 2006 11:19 PM
OMG! Why don't they take the old yucky one out? I don't get it. Aren't your kidneys hooked up to something? Do they have to unhook the old one and hook up the new one to some kind of cord that carries something? What does the old one do? Does it just float around? Ewwww.
Posted by: JD's Rose | February 28, 2006 02:20 AM
oh. my. word. THAT is a good story!
Posted by: Nessa | February 28, 2006 12:17 PM
That's fascinating.
My mum has renal failure, so will hopefully be walking around with 3 kidneys at some stage :)
Posted by: alivicwil | September 19, 2007 08:14 AM
I just found out in July that my 15 year old daughter has 2 kidneys on her left side and none on her right. Found out because one ruptured. Wierd. After reading this, I hope she doesn't ever need a transplant.
Posted by: evweb | February 20, 2008 06:48 PM