I think the next time they are being particularly loud, you should just go up to their apartment and, as nicely as possible, let them know that the noise is magnified in your apartment and while you know they don't do it intentionally, if they could be a little more conscientious of all the banging and stomping around, you'd be very appreciative.

I think that by being neighborly and putting a face to the request, they might be more inclined to be nice and try to be a bit quieter late at night and early in the morning. If you just let the building deliver a notice to them, they might be offended/defensive and not care one bit whether they're annoying other people.

Sadly, that approach has not worked with my idiot upstiars neighbor and I am now resorting to passive-aggressive pipe-banging behavior and threats of physical violence. Whatever works, you know. :P

i guess going through the building might be your safest bet since you don't really know much about them...but if it were me i think i'd respond much more positively to a personal (maybe face-to-face?) gentle addressing of the subject.

then? if they're jerks or continue to make noise anyway, go to the building.

Can you move to a nice little house in the burbs?

No, she is (a) not allowed to move to a nice little house in the burbs and (b) would strangle herself if she did.

I agree with Sherri. Try a nice face to face, stating that you are sure they don't mean to be bugging the crap out of you.

Then if being nice doesn't work, you can move to the big guns of letters, the building police and assault rifles.

Like my grand-mammy used to say, "catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

But she also didn't have any teeth, so what did she know? :-)

Pies always help. The first can be a bribe, and the second one a face decoration. ;)

My husband and I have had the SAME thing happen to us in our apartment. SO loud. They are "heavy walkers". Even when we're drunk or running around the apartment we are not as loud as the heavy walkers upstairs. They stomp! And, it's ALL the time. Makes us crazy. We have stood on top of our table and beat on the ceiling, which did nothing. I have come in and thrown my shoes up at the ceiling (which, did nothing except put big scuff marks on the ceiling where they hit), and we've also told our leasing office about them...they wrote them a warning, which made the noise go away for about, oh, a week...granted, it was the nicest week ever, but the noise has returned. The only way to get your peace and quiet is to move. Sorry. Better yet, move to the apartment above THEM!

I say knock on the door and have a face to face. If that doesn't work, let the building handle it. We had upstairs neighbors that played music loudly as part of their daily routine and I just told them that we could hear it and it was very disturbing. It worked like a charm and they turned the music down to an acceptable level. They may not realize just how loud they are being.

I would go with your third suggestion, the letter, or else actually go up there when they are MAKING a loud noise and catch them in the act of making it, then nicely explain your dilemma.

I have personal experience with this - we used to live below no-rug-havers. We tried the banging on the ceiling with a broom, only to have them file a noise complaint against US. I also tried politely asking them to take off their shoes when they're going to be home for a while, to which the chick (a TINY little woman, I have no clue how she made all that noise) responded with lots of attitude about how maybe WE ought to have thought of this before living in a building with wood floors. (Our own apartment did NOT have wood floors actually, so we did not know that those above us would.)

In spite of my bad experience, I'd still try to either talk to them or write a note before contacting the building because they may not know they are making noise. Maybe the people above THEM *do* have rugs, so they think the building is just well insulated. If you go "behind their backs" to the building management right away, they may think you're sneaky/rude and may retaliate with more noise or difficulty.

I would write a nice but firmly stated letter. The face-to-face is only going to end up as a confrontation, whether you/they mean for it to or not. They will feel defensive and you will feel bitchy (even though you're not). Going to the building management would be my number two choice. Go with the letter.

I used to live in a three story condo complex. I lived on the bottom floor, oh joy! Even though I owned my condo, the jerkweed who owned the one above mine, rented his out. So I never had much luck with the face to face confrontations as there were always new people moving in and out.

I'd go with the nice letter, explaining the problem. Even offer to let them IN your unit and then you or your husband go upstairs and walk around. I think most people don't realize how much everything is amplified. If that doesn't make them act better, then go to the management.

That's my two cents, for whatever it's worth!

I tend to go with the friendly, at-the-time-of-the-noise face to face, followed by the letter to the building if that fails. Most people forget that not everyone is on the same schedule in these days of work from home.

Hi Torrie!

I like what Sherri had to say; it was exactly what I was thinking as I read about your dilemna. An in person meeting does not have to be a confrontation, rather, it is a chance for you to get to know your neighbors and for them to know how much they bother you. :)

I'm the type of person who deals with problems upfront, so a face to face is my .02.

Good luck!

I can sympathize...The lady in the apartment DOWNSTAIRS from me has her 2 grandkids (2 and 5 years old) over three or four times a week, sometimes for the whole day until 11 pm. You would think that by them being downstairs you wouldn't hear anything, especially just walking around, but whenever those kids are here it sounds like elephants are running around. The youngest kid is so "heavy on is feet" clomping back and forth, running in circles, you wouldn't even believe all of the noise! He also pushes chairs around and whines and screams and baby talks REALLY loud and we can hear all of that. You can hear that they think he is just the cutest, sweetest thing EVER, but I beg to differ! If I knew this was going to be a daycare half the week, we might not have moved here. I'm sure people might think that I am some evil woman saying that some happy-go-lucky kids are such a pain in the ass, but I really enjoy my peace and quiet. After paying so much for rent every month, I expect it gosh darn it! Also, the woman's dryer is right under my bedroom and it sounds like a wind tunnel when it is going. I will probably never be happy living in an apartment, because everywhere I go, it is always something different, but it is not an option now to buy my own house.

I have had to deal with my fare share of obnoxious neighbors and I have always found it best to just go straight to the building management or leasing office or whoever is in charge. Unless, of course, you actually know the person or speak to them on occasion, and feel comfortable mentioning the grievance. I have made the mistake of saying something nicely yet firmly to a neighbor, only to have the problem exacerbated because the person is angry that I had the nerve to say anything. And then if you go to building management after that, they know for sure it was you and make things even worse. If you never say anything to them, they will never know for sure it was you. Maybe that is the wimpy way out, but I can tell you it is better than dealing with someone getting mad at you for confronting them! Take my word for it!

I'm with Sherri - I think face to face is the best way to start. They will probably take most kindly to that, which avoids the tension if in fact they do work at the hospital. And if things don't improve, then you can feel completely justified complaining to the building.

I kind of like Mrtl's suggestion of a face-to-face with a pie in your hand.
Sure, they're the ones making all the noise, and you're the one suffering, but bringing a pie while asking nicely for a cutback in the noise level might just put you over the top in their opinion.

As others have stated, they may not know how loud they are being. And here you are, charming as can be and with a PIE! Might even end up with new friends.

Of course, if that doesn't work, then the next step would be to contact the building managers. But I agree with those who say it would be better coming from you personally the first time.

I, too, am chiming in with support for Sherri's idea.

When Christopher was a baby we lived in a downstairs apartment. The people above us were the loudest people on the face of the earth and they didn't have any kids, which meant that they often held long, LOUD parties on the weekends. Even during the week sometimes.

One time the noise was so loud that Christopher couldn't sleep. And oh god, if he couldn't sleep, my life was hell. So I gathered him up in my arms, the screaming, tired mess that he was, and I walked upstairs and pounded on their door until they finally heard me (literally, ten minutes later).

When they came to the door (en masse, the whole party, I swear), I said, "My baby can't sleep because of the noise you are making. Please stop."

They never made that kind of noise again.

I was totally gonna go with option 3 until you said that your hubs probably works with one of them. Yeah, let the building handle it. I am all for passing the buck.

I'm with Sherri too - face to face, just in case they may choose to be considerate and adult about it. and then? if they choose to instead be defensive and bratty and inconsiderate about it, that's THEIR problem. Thereafter, go to management.

With a face to face, there's a chance for congenial understanding and benefit of the dougt - a note, although straight-forward, is chicken shit, just as is going to mgmt. I think.

dougt?

oops!
meant "doubt"

I have a charming little person on the floor below me somewhere who plays some instrument after 10pm at night. I can hear it clearly and she/he is below me. If I had a clue where it was coming from, I would probably write them a note...once I learned how to say it in Chinese. Only white chick in a building in Hong Kong. HA!

COuld you write them a note and clearly state on the note that it is being CC'd to the building manager so that they are aware of the problem as well. I agree that sometimes, people do not realize how loud they are and that they should be told.