Damn Yankee
As anyone who's been reading this blog knows, I was born and raised in Manhattan.
I never spent any time in the south, unless you count my visits as a child to southern Florida to visit my grandmother.
I don't think that counts though, because most of the people in southern Florida are from New York anyway.
My point is this: I grew up in a place where image and attention to detail is everything.
Eight years ago my father moved from Queens, New York to a very small town in Coastal North Carolina. When I say small town, I mean SMALL TOWN. Two hours from the nearest highway ,small.
When he first moved there, the town had ONE traffic light. Now there's three! Woohoo!
I have visited my father in North Carolina a handful of times, including a few months before I moved back to Manhattan (from Boston), almost two years ago. It is like a different planet to me. Animals are treated like property, they don't serve bagels with breakfast, there isn't an organic section in the supermarket, I could go on and on, but my point is- it's DIFFERENT.
This particular trip, my father was having spinal surgery, and the husband had just finished medical school, so we decided to load the animals into the car and drive FIFTEEN hours to my dad's house.
That's FIFTEEN. 1-5.
Some couples spend FIFTEEN hours in a car together and they want to kill, or at the very least dismemeber each other. Not us. We had a great time. In addition to the dozens of pork stores and mullets we saw, we also noticed some other interesting phenomenon.
We literally started writing down all of the funny shit we saw. This weekend, while cleaning out my closet, I found the notes we took. hence, the inspiration for this post.
The fist thing we noticed was the south has some interesting street signs. Here are a select few:
"Backlick Road"
"Blueball Road"
"Street Road" (Redundant Road?)
We saw a car dealer who was selling "Cheverelets" (sic.)
We saw the Sanitary Restaurant. Because nothing says "Mmmmmmmm, delicious!" like the word "sanitary".
We went to the local hardware store and we saw two signs that peaked our interest:
One said "Yale Sale".
I'm assuming that unless they were selling a large amount of college memorabilia they meant "Yard Sale".
The other sign was someone selling a boat. They kindly included the measurements in "Lenth" and "Witch" (Length and Width).
And finally, on our way home, we passed a turkey ON THE HIGHWAY. Just walking along the shoulder by the median like he was in a hurry to get somewhere.
Maybe he was heading north.

Comments
Dude, you wanna talk trash about the South? Come on down here and we'll talk.
No, wait. Maybe I should just threaten to withhold all computer aid from you. Yeah...that oughta do it...
*wicked smile*
Posted by: Fuzzball | April 10, 2006 02:13 PM
Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Torrie | April 10, 2006 02:28 PM
Yes, welcome to where the education system and proper grammar have gone to die.
Posted by: southernfriedgirl | April 10, 2006 03:42 PM
Say uncle! Say it!
Posted by: Fuzzball | April 10, 2006 05:18 PM
The customs you mention... "Animals are treated like property, they don't serve bagels with breakfast, there isn't an organic section in the supermarket, I could go on and on, but my point is- it's DIFFERENT..."
Sounds just like here, only I'm talking about a whole state - no, a tri-state area. Where when you mention "sushi" or "thai" or even "vegetarian" people automatically crinkle their noses even though they've never eaten such foods. Where you routinely see trucks with various out-of-season dead, shot animals hanging out of the back and "draining". I really effin hate it here - thanks for the reminder! :-)
Posted by: Adrienne | April 10, 2006 05:32 PM
What people say in Redneck Valley that drives me nuts (well, one of many) is "width and heighth."
Posted by: kalki | April 10, 2006 07:06 PM
Those are funny. :)
The other day, we saw a street sign in Hong Kong that read WELFARE STREET. The irony is that it was in one of the better areas of the city.
I like funny names.
Posted by: Tanya | April 10, 2006 07:48 PM
Adrienne,
Don't even get me started on the vegetarian thing!
Posted by: Torrie | April 10, 2006 08:42 PM
For your info, city girl: Yale is a brand of lock. So chances are, they had a sale on locks ...
In my part of the world, they took the "r" out of slippery and put it into wash ... so on a cold day, it might be slippy out. If you wind up falling on your ass, you can take your jeans off and put them in the warsh.
Posted by: Nilbo | April 11, 2006 12:05 AM
I don't know how I ended up here - but that was an entertaining read! And a welcome break from final paper-writing.
(Btw, I think you mean "piqued" - not peaked - I could be wrong. I've been up all night.)
Posted by: Sarah | April 11, 2006 10:11 AM
Mmmm, sanitary!
Posted by: Fraulein N | April 14, 2006 09:08 AM