So, I was taking Dexter for his morning walk. Dexter likes to carry a toy when we go for a walk:
I must also preface this story by saying that Dexter LOVES children and babies.
I'm not sure where his obsession with little ones came from, but maybe it's because they taste good:
Tastes like chicken!
Anyway, back to the story-
Dexter and I were crossing the street. On the sidewalk we were approaching, there were several people, including a couple with a todder in a stroller.
As we stepped up onto the curb the father jumped in front of the stroller and started yelling "NO, no, no!"
I said "It's OK, he won't hurt her."
To which he responded "No, no, no!"
"He's a therapy dog" I said, getting frustrated (I was in NO MOOD for ridiculous people).
And then he delivered a line that I will never forget:
"KEEP IT AWAY FROM MY HUMAN"
Did he just say "Keep it away from my human"?
All of the people standing on the curb had their mouths hanging open in disbelief. A few chuckled.
Keep in mind that during this entire incident Dexter was wagging his tail and holding his stuffed animal in his mouth, unaware of his power to strike terror.
I'd also like to point out that his wife was with him, but she never said a word. She just stood there with this look on her face like "If I say anything he's going to beat me again".
After my initial shock wore off, I said "I feel really sorry for your daughter because when she's an adult she won't be able to walk down the street because of her fear of dogs"
He gave me an eloquent rebuttal of "That's fine".
Um, actually, no it's not FINE.
So, I said to him, "It's really unfortunate that you're putting your own fears on your child" and then I turned and crossed the street.
This happened on Friday. I've spent all weekend analyzing it.
Why did he say "MY HUMAN"? Why didn't he say "my child", or "my daughter", or "my little girl"?
Who refers to their child as "MY HUMAN"?
The first questions everyone who I tell this story to asks me is "Was he foreign? Did he not have a command of the English language?"
He spoke perfect English.
* Side note: Have modern day humans lost all of their instincts?
I'm asking this question because things like this happen all the time. Dexter will be skipping along with a giant rainbow colored stuffed octopus in his mouth and some people will still be terrified. I have no tolerance for people who have one bad experience with a dog and then, subsequently, are terrified of ALL DOGS. I've gotten screwed by tons of people and yet I'm not scared of ALL PEOPLE.
I truly believe that if I had grown up in the middle of the jungle and never seen a dog before, that when I saw Dexter, walking down the street, tail wagging, with a stuffed animal in his mouth, I would be able to read his body language and realize that he meant me no harm. This would be especially true if another person ASSURED me that he was docile.
Tracy came up with the only explanation that makes any sense:
The man and his wife were aliens who couldn't conceive a baby, so they came to earth and stole a human baby. They had never seen a dog before, so when they saw Dexter they freaked out and thought that this vicious monster might eat their precious human baby.
It all makes sense now.