AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHA This story is the best. You humans sure know how to write!

Er, I mean, you, Torrie, sure know how to write. I didn't say "human". That would be absurd, as I too am human. Indeed.

Ahem.

Their HUMAN? Yes, I believe the alien abduction story would be the easiest way to explain that behavior.

My mother is one of those who was attacked by a dog and now has irrational fear of all dogs. I roll my eyes, but then she laughs at me when I tell her I have to be dead drunk to even step foot on a plane.

Oh My God!! I want a Dexter...How could anyone think he would be harmful? They must be that certain breed of parent who probably won't even let their child run for fear of a scrapped knee...so sad.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, you totally just met Tom Cruise, Katie, and Suri and you did not recognize them?

He is probably safely back in his pod by now.

My Human? That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard in my life.

Must be an alien, no other explanation.

You can see the love and devotion in Dexter's eyes. There probably isn't a mean bone in his body.

I can think of one other explanation:

The dad is an INCREDIBLE pussy who beats his wife for speaking and probably keeps his "human" in protective plastic wrap.

I hope his daughter bites him in the ass when she grows teeth.

That's the most effed up thing I've heard all day!

Dexter probably loves babies because he's learned that babies are messy eaters. And messy eaters have excess food all over them.

So naturally he's there to help clean 'em up. :-)

Was his head shaped like a cone? Or was he wearing rainbow suspenders. How odd.

I too agree he is an alien, prolly kidnapped the woman and her child.

Man, he thinks Dexter is trouble???

I should loan you Hermione for a couple of walks....

Honestly? Who would have thought that spewing coffee all over a desk would be so fantastic on a Monday morning - especially after reading something like "Keep it away from my human."

That is one of the most adorable dogs I've ever seen.

OMG. That is just.... WOW. My HUMAN!!

On a different note, my cousin is 9 and was born into a family with three large friendly dogs. However, as a toddler her mom took her to the humane society, where she was volunteering at the time, and she started shrieking and crying when she saw.... a CAT. It occurred to my aunt that she'd never seen one before and she was absolutely terrified of them for a long while afterward, meanwhile she'd walk right up to a dog of any size.

you know who else would do that? my mother-in-law.

yayyy...

i think i would get down on the ground and kiss him if i saw him on the street. awww, puppy...

That is simply the weirdest thing I have ever heard.

Oh man. My HUMAN? WTF? I loved sfg's comment, you rock!

On the contrary I have to put in a word for the irrational people. When I was a student, so probably 18,19, I had a dog chase me up a beach, over a 6foot retaining wall and along the footpath. This dog meant BUSINESS. There was nowhere for me to hide: the dog had already scaled a sheer 6 ft brick wall! In terror I knocked on the door of a parked car- a man inside was reading the newspaper. He saw me, the dog, and unlocked the door. I flew inside and it was all I could do to just try and keep the door ajar- this guy looked like a nice person, but how was I to know? The dog reached the car and did that whole horror-movie bite the window thing. I was *terrified*. It took me some months to even go running again. I got over it, to some extent. I learned to be cautiously tolerant of dogs. Then a few years later when I was on my bike (triathlon training), two doberman (?dobermen?) chased me half a kilometre down a deserted road, snapping at my heels. It was the whole thing revisited, and my fear of dogs resurfaced, taking a few more years to get under control. Again, just as I was getting over that a few years later, another dog chased me, this time I was running again. It wasn't as bad as either the first or second attacks, but enough that my fear of dogs is ingrained.

Like all phobias, I realise this is an irrational fear, and that most dogs, like Dexter, are beautiful, loving, wonderful creatures (And with a rainbow octopus in their mouths, nicely distracted!). I absolutely LOVE dogs, and we would love one of our own, but don't have the space or time. But I still fear dogs when I am out running. I still have to stop running (somehow I feel OK if I'm not actually running) and walk past them if they give me the evil eye. It is irrational. I know that, but I get the old fear, the world goes fuzzy, my heart starts pounding, I hyperventilate, the sympathetic system goes into overdrive and all I can think of is getting away, getting somewhere safe.

However, I don't act on this. I slow down to a walk, let the nice doggie go past, smile a little, and then get puffing again.

But that guy sounds like a freak. If he was truly phobic, I find it hard to believe he would act that way (Trust me, I kinda know!)But I'm not about to stop anybody else from loving dogs. If, God willing, we ever do manage to have our own children, there is NO WAY I would want my child to not experience the warm, beautiful unconditional love of dogs. I realise my phobia is mine alone, and to pass this onto a child would be to do the child a disservice.

Bet he doesn't let his *human* eat dirt, play with other children or read the free press. Might poison their mind as well as their body. Poor child!

There was this song, years ago, called "Dogs are the best People". I'd love to meet Dexter. He looks like a top "person".

Jen, do you wear underpants made of bacon when you go running or biking?

Holy $hit that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my ENTIRE life. That child is doomed for a lifetime of misery, clearly.

Oh, Torrie. Bacon underpants? You, my friend, are brilliant.

I was just going to say that some dogs are more aggressive than others and when those kinds of dogs see people running they get ideas in their little heads and the chase is on.

I was bitten--severely bitten--by my grandmother's dog when I was five. Somehow, I never developed a fear of other dogs, though. I think it's because my mother let me know in no uncertain terms that the bite was my fault and the dog wouldn't have bitten me had I not stuck my face in her bowl while she was eating.

Hey, I was five.

I have a Dexter, too, and the only vicious thing a Golden is capable of is getting up on the kitchen counter when your back is turned and eating your dinner.

People are just weird.

ohhh, is THAT what I'm doing wrong? Dang it- the bacon undies are just so damn comfortable, y'know?

Do you think the tasty rawhide socks will have to go too? How 'bout the hamburger pattie sports bra?

Nup. I think it's because I have always been built muscular- dogs see me and it's like one of those cartoons where I just become a ribroast running on two ham hocks, I think.

tee hee :p

I'm so glad that this guy had a human. Seriously I don't get that. At all.

What I love is when people are afraid of my 20lb terrier. Who isn't even interested in them, and is on a harness that is on a leash that I have wrapped around my hand so he only has a few feet of space.

Now, that's terrifying. Especially when he's laying on my feet.

Long time lurker - just wanted to say that I looove Dexter! He is the sweetest looking dog and I bet cuddley as hell. Those CRAZY people (?) - don't know what they missed out on!

I can't believe that someone would say that. That blows my mind. @_@