Oh, Torrie, honey, I wish there were something I could say or do to make your burdened heart feel lighter. Just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you. Love and hugs to you, dear.

Yeah I think we could all do with some teen problems...

DOn't worry, shug, you've got Fuzzball the Eternal Optimist on your side. I'll always be there to show you your PLATINUM linings. I LOVE YOU!!!

You always have us. Does that help? I know we can't really do anything but maybe we can make you laugh or something????

I also miss the days of being angst ridden over whether the dude I currently had the hots for was in school or not.

I'm sorry, my love, and you know, nobody has more compassion for you (or understands your situation better) than I. But with all the warmth in the world, and all the respect and love you know I have for you, can I just say that you've got it wrong here.

Think of playing a video game - say, Super Mario. You go along for a bit in Level One, and you get knocked down a few times and have to restart a bunch of times, but every time you do, you get a bit smarter and a bit better at avoiding the pitfalls.

Then comes that magical day when you get to the END of Level One! Whoopeee! A celebratory song plays, fireworks go off on the screen, there's a dancing monkey or whatever ... and then ...

Welcome to Level Two.

Now, you COULD go back to Level One. You're good at it now. You know where all the traps are, all the monsters, all the places you can pick up extra lives or gold coins or whatever. You could kick Level One's ass every frigging time.

So, do you go back to Level one?

Of course not.

You go on, because we need that. We need the challenges, we need the setbacks, we need the risks and rewards and the threat of heartbreak and the chance of joy.

Go back to being a teenager? Sure. Go on, back, but remember, you're leaving behind the good Doctor, the friends you've made in the past ten years, the complex person you've become. Kinda the ol' Monkey's Paw situation, huh?

You're in a tough level of the game, sweetie. And you've been kicked off the cliff, squashed by the rocks, fallen off the moving logs, heard the sad lil three note tune and seen the words "Play Again?" flash up.

Of course you're gonna play again. What fun is it not to? Because you KNOW you're gonna break through this level, and you KNOW you're gonna get to the end and the fireworks will go off and there will be dancing and smiling dragons and ... then ...

Welcome to Level Three.

It's the joy and the pain of it, darlin'. Just know you've got a bunch of people rooting for you while you play.

Oh....you sound so sad. I am so sorry. I don't even want to tell you that it will get better because when your sad it doesn't help. One thing I know, though, from all the hurt and tough stuff I have gone through is that it truly does have the potential to make you a better, stronger person. Hang in there.

i agree, it absolutely SUCKS ASS being a grownup sometimes.

...wanna come over and have a slumber party and drink mudslides and make prank calls?

I'm with Nilbo. Life is both the challenge and the celebration, and I don't think you can fully appreciate the latter without the former.

I had a friend who used to say, when people asked Why me?, Why not you? And that is what I try to remember. No one gets a free pass, everyone has their struggles, and yes, some are more difficult than others. Life is not fair. If it were , maybe my kidneys would work. :-) Or not.
I do know that having a default attitude of gratitude, as it were, is something that you have to conciously do at first, by reminding yourself of the things in your life you are grateful for. After awhile it becomes second nature, and I speak from experience. :-)
I'll be praying for you.

I frequently wish I could have a nice, simple job, like a secretary, and that just being with Mr Spouse was enough for me, that I didn't want to have children so desperately.

I LOVE NILBO.

Damn him and his excellent writing skills.

Yeah, I can't compete with Super Mario.

I read that article, it was very interesting to listen to other people's perspectives. Just know that when people say things (even stupid things) they are trying the only way how to comfort you, in some way.

It sounds like Dr. A is definitely a silver lining!

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I'm loving Nilbo's perspective, so I'm just going to say that I hope the fireballs stop passing so near, and that soon you find the right green pipe. You know, the one with coins at the bottom of it.

Most of all, when you finally arrive, I hope to God your princess is not in another castle. Because that always pisses me the hell off.

Nilbo's description is so spot on, freaky.

Ive been thinking the same things as you lately Torrie, how I wish I was young enough to not have to worry about the big stuff coz Mum and Dad worry about that crap not me.
How unfair life is that I cant have the child I crave with all my heart but other women pop them out one after the other.
I know the place your in right now, as do many of us it seems, and its dark and lonely, but your not alone now, none of us are, we are all there together raging at the injustices against us, screaming at the unfairness of life, crying out our broken hearts. It take a while, for some longer than others but we arent alone anymore and thats the comforting part.
I say it each time, but hang in there, we are all here with you and we all care for you.

XX
Shell

Well said Nilbo!

It is true that we will not appreciate the good without the bad. Our lives are what we make them and we need to appreciate all that we have.

I did move to the outer ends of the earth and somehow, adulthood still found me. Drat that!

What Nilbo said, except "donkey kong" instead of "mario"

(That gorilla is sweet.)

Hugs.

*hugs*

and *hugs*

and more *hugs*

Hold on, baby girl, you'll get there.

When you find out how to do it, please let me know. I'm trying to get back to those days myself.