I'm only 15 weeks right now. But I think what has surprised me the most so far is how much I have changed mentally and within an instance. Obviously this comment could go on and on about how, but I won't bore folks with all the details about myself. I'm just totally and completely different, not bad different, just different.

I'm sure that as the days go on something will surprise me again and again. But for now, I have surprised myself the most. Me.

I've been pregnant and am a mom. The thing that surprised me the most about being pregnant was how quickly I lost my modesty! I was suddenly public property.

The thing that surprised me the most about motherhood was that the moment I gave birth I felt 'mommy guilt' about EVERYTHING!! Feeling like I wanted some time to myself? GUILT! Wanting to watch a 30 minute television show uninterrupted? GUILT! Looking forward to going to work just to have some adult time? GUILT!! It did get better with time, but even now that he's 6 years old I find myself feeling guilty when I sneak away for some me time. Just yesterday, I escaped the house to run errands because my husband was home. I'd been socked in for days with our son who has been sick with a nasty cold and I couldn't wait to get out of here. And yet halfway through my errands, I cut the trip short to come home and help with my son because I knew my husband was probably having a rough time with a sick, cranky kid.

I am not sure how I came across your blog but I check in every now and then! I have never commented before but I will have to for this one! I have a daughter who will be two in March. What surprised me the most about motherhood is the way it changed the relationship with my husband! My daughter became the most important and I was always doing everything for her. My husbad felt he was not getting enouth attention and it really was a rough spot for us! My only words of wisdom, if I may, are that you should always remember to make your husband feel important after your little one is born!

How hoard it is everyday. I thought some days would be harder than others, but mostly, it is hard every day. I think about the decisions I am making, and hope they are the best for the little guy.

But also, how much you can love this person you created. People told me this while I was pregnant with him, but it's not until you have one that you "get it" - C will be 3 soon and I still look at him in awe all the time - his little legs, arms, stuff he is learning and saying. It is awe inspiring, which makes up for the hard parts. :)

Remember when Miranda was pregnant in season 4 of Sex and the City? She said she was unfuckable and that is why you are supposed to be married before you get pregnant, so that someone actually has to have sex with you. LOL
Indeed, I don't think the physical consequences of pregnancy make anyone sexy but I am always surprised by how pregnant women tend to give everybody all the unsexy details when they are not asked. I have a colleague who's 3 months pregnant and everybody has to know she's suffering from gas and bloating... Did she lose all sense of dignity when she got pregnant?

(ps I am not including you in that group Torrie, you talk about your pregnancy whith much more dignity and nobody is forced to read your blog if they don't want to know)

I've never been pregnant/a mother but -

1. the anxiety a lot of mothers seem to suffer. It really makes me think about having kids, being very anxious already!

2. the fact that EVERYONE - even doctors - seem to have an opinion on what's right and wrong during pregnancy and early life. I was talking to a friend the other day, and she has a PhD in fertility... something. She has one 3 year old and is 5 months pregnant, and she was DREADING going to an appointment because they were going to tell her how much she was doing wrong etc. etc. I thought people were supposed to be supportive! Especially doctors!

Um, let's see... Toward the end of my first pregnancy, I was shocked when I couldn't bend over to pick things up without choking off all the oxygen to my brain. I was also happy to find out how much less afraid of giving birth I was when I couldn't WAIT to NOT BE PREGNANT.

Then, I was very surprised to find out I could love a person more than I loved my dog. I was a little sad about this, too, but I got over it and had two more kids. My dog still doesn't understand. I think I'll get him a puppy.

I think two things surprised me the most. The first was how weepy everything made me - to the point where I couldn't watch the news because it made me cry. Even now, 14 years on (!) I still cry easily. It just never went away.

The second thing was how really bloody strange the first movements were. Like bubbles bursting inside me. Or something out of Alien. It took me weeks to get used to that - having movement inside me that wasn't part of me or controlled by me - but it got much easier once she put a bit of weight behind it. I much preferred a kick in the bladder to a gentle flutter... It was very freaky.

I don't have any children of my own yet. But our now one-yearold godson (who've we've spent a lot of time with and babysat) completely changed me...from being very careerminded, I now feel nothing is more important than seeing how he grows and develops. Those strong feelings really took me by surprise.

I just had to comment. I found your blog on Babes in Blogland (we have the same due date) and when I clicked over here I nearly fell out of my chair wondering how you happened to get a picture of my breast on here. Ah the joys...

As thrilled as I am to be pregnant, I'm also surprised by how foreign my body is to me. The bloating and uncontrollable burping. The fact that instead of jumping out of bed as I usually do I more or less ease myself out. It's all a bit disconcerting.

Love the photo project!

Good post, Torrie.
Here are my thoughts.
First, how tired I was in the beginning.
Second, how good I feel besides being tired first trimester. I have Crohn's disease and being pregnant has actually caused the symptoms that were even present with meds, to disappear. Although it has taken a bit getting used to the opposite things happening with my intestines.
Third, how sloached (sp??)over I feel.
Fourth, how little I sleep.
Five, how my face and back (eek)!!!! have a mind of it's own
Six, how much and how frequently I want to eat
and
Seven, I need to enjoy these last few months because these moments I have to myself will be few and far between very soon!

Great idea for a photo essay, Torrie.

I was suprised by just *how much* your body changes from almost the first days of conception: the crippling tiredness and lethargy, even in the early weeks; the fuzzy 'cotton wool in the brain' feeling (I really have no idea how I managed to pass my specialist exams whilst pregnant); the body with an agenda of its own (I don't remember ever being so pigmented in my life); being so hugely heat intolerant.

I know this varies from person to person, but my complete lack of libido is also suprising.

On the positive, I am amazed how protective I am of my baby, even though it's still in my tummy: for example, we were broken into whilst we were asleep the other day (they only took my phone) but laying awake at night, I wonder if they come back and this time they aren't happy, how I can get to hospital to save my baby even if I die.

I love your blog!
I have a 3 yr old boy - and what has amazed me the most is how natural everything about being a mommy seems. Being a first time mommy, you freak out about everything! It's so scary at first, (every "first" is a learning curve) you do not know what you are doing or what you have gotten yourself into, but that "motherly instinct" really shines through and makes you (helps you?) become a wonderful mommy. Almost naturally.

I think what amazed me the most was that breastfeeding 2 kids in 18 months I had the most amazing ability to snap awake 2-3 times a night. No grumbling, no grudges. If you knew me you'd know how much I love to sleep. I have a hard time rousing myself after 6-7 solid hours of sleep every night. My first son was severely jaundiced, so I had to improvise and tape a thin hose to the tip of my nipple to give him a formula supplement along with the breast milk. I did this for the first three months of his life. 5-8 feedings a day. I never got tired of cutting the medical tape and washing the tube. Not once. I'm still amazed.

Everything. Everything surprised me. The pain: childbirth, nursing (hurt EVERY SINGLE TIME I had let-down, for 13 mos. with Christopher and 7 with Sophie), emotional. I still want to punch other kids in the face when I know they've hurt my kids' feelings.

The *parenting* stuff is what I find easy. It's easy to discipline, it's easy to get routines established, it's easy to fall into the day-to-day of parenting. Everything else is hard. Seeing them grow up is physically painful to me; my stomach gets in knots when I see them shooting up. Letting go, little by little, is SO hard (but I never let them know it). Knowing that Sophie was the last baby I would ever have: so so so so so so difficult to get through.

Oh, and and I was surprised at how angry I would get at other mothers/idiots who want to tell me how to raise my child. There isn't one right way, one wrong way. As long as you love your child, don't hurt him/her, and everyone in the family is happy with the way things are, then everything will be fine.

The thing that surprised me the most, I guess, is that my mother didn't throw me back.

The mental changes. I had severe postpartum depression that never went away. He's 7 years old. Over in a year my ass. It's very lonely to be the only person I've known who had this sort of problem, all my friends with kids bounced back no problems.
On the other hand, I have an amazing child, and am glad that I wasn't able to get pregnant again after he was born, because it wouldn't have been healthy for any of us. I love that it's just the two of us.

for me, so far, it is the bone-crushing tiredness, especially in the early weeks when there is little else to indicate pregnancy. i am getting more and more tired every day and i am usually a busy little beaver with something on every day and night of the week. now it's a big achievement to have one night out per week. i thought i'd stay busy and active right up until close to the birth. nope. i can't wait to finish work and just sit around for five weeks.

Will you take a man's perspective?

I would say after having observed my wife go through two pregnancies is that what DDM, Laurie, and Poppy said are close to what I think my wife felt. My wife had worked in the juvenile justice field before the kids were born, so she saw quite a (bad) self-selecting element which made her afraid to have children.

I think that having kids has brought us closer together than we've ever been. The odd part about watching them grow up is watching some of my own childhood replay in slow motion in another person. It's scary, really, and you may find out things about yourself and your husband that you didn't realize or didn't know.

I guess the only other real surprise was seeing what was the latest craving of the week. And how much my wife's pregnancy somehow made me gain weight.

I wish you the best during your pregnancy and pray for the health of you and your baby. Take care.

Things that surprised me:
--How I knew I was pregnant before anyone else and they didn't belive me until I took two pregnancy test to prove it.
--I too remember freaking out the first time I saw my stretch marks, as well as not being able to see my crotch or feet
--How I was CERTAIN I was having a boy, and I was wrong (though it doesn't matter; I'm blessed)
--How I was terrified of child birth and it ended up being EASY (yes, really), even though I missed my epidural.
--How before I gave birth, you could have had a live band in my living room and I would sleep through it, but afterward, I would jolt awake with every hiccup.
--How the first time she slept through the night I thought she was dead.
--How I owe my life to Sophie just as much as she owes hers to me.
--How connected I am to this little person.
--How she makes my day, every day.
--despite how there are moments when 20 minutes feels like I just worked a 12-hour shift as an ER nurse.
You have a lot to look forward to--enjoy it!

I'm a mom, I hear this first one from a lot of people, which doesn't really follow your rules. How amazing it is to sit back on the couch when you are 7, 8, 9 months pregnant, and watch your baby move around, and feel toes move. You will miss it. And you will never want to put your new baby down for a nap, because its so comfortable to have them lay on you and sleep, where you can look down at them instead of putting them down in a bedroom.

The second one is how you will still have to wear maternity shirts after birth! Ack!

I don't know if you've come across it but there is actually a photo blog by mothers sharing the realities of childbirth. I for the life of me can't find it...I've been searching...When I come across it I will let you know. Jane

I think Jane is referring to "The shape of a mother"
http://theshapeofamother.com/home.php

My daughter will be two in April and there are still about a million things that surprise me every day.

The biggest surprise to me was how HARD motherhood was. Wonderful but HARD. I anticipated the exhaustion and the emotional rollercoaster but I didn't anticipate that every single solitary thing in my life would change. I didn't anticipate that the simple act of sitting at a computer and reading, or writing, a blog would become an almost impossible feat. I had no idea that I would want to smother my husband at 3 a.m. while I sat in a dark room breastfeeding our daughter and listening to him snore. The first year was tough, tough, tough. I felt betrayed and angry that no one had warned me how physically, emotionally and mentally draining parenthood was. I was overwhelmed with love and adoration for my daughter but at the same time I had to go through a grieving process for my old life. After trying to get pregnant for 3-years, I never thought I would feel that way.

Wow. That sounds super negative and scary.... Really, the whole process of pregnancy and motherhood is life changing and awe-inspiring in way that you can never anticipate. Today, I can't imagine a better life for myself and my husband. So much so that we're thinking about doing it all again!

Leaky boobs so early in pregnancy. I'm 34 weeks now and the colostrum has become old hat, but the first time I saw it when I was getting out of the shower I was pretty surprised.

Great topic, sorry i got here so late in the game.

Having a 10 year old, 7 year old and 11 week old, nothing surprises me anymore, BUT I can say that how my priorities changed surprised me the most. When you step out the door, you don't just have to think about yourself anymore, you have to think about everything you do will also affect your child/ren. Now if that isn't intimidating I don't know what is! But (most) Moms have a special device called 'motherly instinct' that kicks in and helps us out. It's great.

It is also surprising how much I have turned into my Mother.

My 7 year old was standing on a chair in the kitchen, and I yelled from the other room, GET DOWN! Then I heard her tell her sister, How does she always know??

Heh.

I also believe people don't say what pregnancy is really like. I've just had my first child, now 1, and I was surprised that your feet can grow (mine didn't TG!) and that people feel like they could just touch your belly without asking. On a personal note, I was surprised that I didn't care if people saw my boob while breastfeeding, but after that was over, I'm back to my old modest self.

I was most suprised that the "old me" died when I gave birth to my daughter. I too moarn the loss of that person I used to be. The one who worked 60 hours a week, wore suits everyday, brushed her teeth before 7 am, and looked hot in a pair of jeans. She was so free and driven. She never felt sorry for herself. She was beautiful and knew it every day. I miss her. I miss her perky breasts. I miss her flat tummy (and belly button ring). I miss her smooth forehead...For some reason I have 2 deep wrinkles between my eyebrows now that were not there before baby.
The biggest challange for me has been the process of reidentifing myself. Getting to know the "new me", and trying really hard to like her as much as I loved the "old me". It's been over 2 years and I learn new things about myself everyday.

Well, the strangest thing
(this was 19years ago but
I remember well) was my
TOTAL LOSS OF LIBIDO both
during and after the pregnancy, like for 3 years!!
I never wanted sex. That
was tough for the hubbie, and
I am ashamed to say that I
had very little sympathy.
I know a lot of women went thru this.
The other thing I was
surprized about motherhood
was the ever-lasting anxiety about the kids. Also the boundless joy and limitless un-qualified love.
The best and the worst; that's what awaits motherhood.
BEST OF LUCK!! THANKS for your blog!!

I was surprised by how shitty the postpartum period is. The night sweats and the bleeding and the flabby and how long and hard I had to work to get back into shape the first time, nevermind the second time, which I'm just coming up on week three of. That sucks. And I got off easy both times. Not sore, not in pain, went for a run 11 days postpartum the second time. And still, it sucks.

I was also surprised at how often I seem to have to pick things up off the floor. This has only gotten worse with a second pregnancy and now two kids. I feel old.

Parenting-wise, I'm surprised at how much I suddenly hate the age of two, now that I've got a newborn who needs to nurse all the time.

How truly different you feel, about almost everything... it's amazing.

And also, the baby moving inside you. I knew they moved, but WHOA! That's the best (to me anyway). :)

Emotionally, it made me love my mother so much more. I was pretty attached to my husband for several weeks after the birth too.

Physically, I can't believe how this body could produce something so beautiful and be so ugly.

Spiritually, it reaffirms my belief in God.

i'm 31 weeks pregnant, and the thing that bothers me the most DEFINATELY has to be when people suddenly think they own full property of you. My boyfriends mom, aka, the MIL, just comes up to me and starts kissing my stomach. It's like, the worst thing in the world. It feels awkward, and when she does it, people are always around, and i have to pretend like i think its cute because they're watching my expression. I never liked to be touched, especially if i don't know the person very well. Like i know she's just excited to be a grandma but MAN, give me some space.
Another annoying thing is when people stare at you.
It happens ANYWHERE, from going to the grocery store, the mall or even to the hospital. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS STARING AT MY STOMACH.
And it feels like 'ok, i'm glad you noticed, but you don't need to be rude about it and stare.'
And when people ask questions.
At family gatherings, i must answer the same questions like 50 times.
"So when are you due?" Somebody asks.
"October 11," i say.
Other relatives who were not in on the conversation at the time then asks, LITERALLY 5 minutes later, "So when are you due?"
And then it just gets to the point where i feel like taking a microphone, making a speech about when i'm due, how much weight i gained, the gender, and EVERY other possible question they could ask me, so that everyone could hear it at the same time.
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Another thing is stretch marks.
I got them the worst.
ALL OVER my thighs, stomach, butt, hips, and breasts. I feel like a walking spider web.
And its not like they go unnoticed, either, they are BIG red and purple marks all over my body.

But the plus side to this pregnancy, is i never knew just how attached i could feel to both my boyfriend and my baby. I feel complete having the two of them in my life.
They are amazing.
I can't wait to meet my little girl!

some things that surprised me a lot about being pregnant:

1. i actually liked being pregnant. i felt good (after the morning sickenss phase ended). it was fun walking around with the huge belly. i felt attractive. i was not extremely unconfortable all the time, like so many people said i would be.

2. i wanted sex. all the time. incredible horniness.