« Only the good die young |
| Video of Willa »
I have two questions:
1) How long did you wait until after you had a baby to have sex?
2) Did it hurt?
Feel free to comment anonymously.
Posted by torrie on July 19, 2007 10:24 AM | Permalink
6 weeks (dr recommendation)
Yes it did
lil foots mommy |
July 19, 2007 10:44 AM
heh... kind of weird that this is my first comment (I think) and it's on this topic! hehe
We waited about 8 weeks before trying... and the first time ended halfway through (or 'in'. HA!) It DID hurt, much like the first time EVER. I had to stop because of it. I think it was partly because I was nervous about it hurting so I was tense, then I was more tense about being tense... vicious cycle!
So we waited a couple weeks and tried again, this time with success! Still a little tough at first, but each time gets easier and more enjoyable now :) (I was just thankful everything still 'works', if you know what I mean! hehe)
July 19, 2007 11:12 AM
1. Nine weeks.
2. Not exactly, but it was uncomfortable. I'd had a very small tear and the location of the stitches was... not stretchy for the first few times. But it didn't outright hurt.
July 19, 2007 11:18 AM
What about the fear of the "most fertile time"? When does that window close? That's what I'm more scared of...
July 19, 2007 11:22 AM
so we know what's on ur mind now ...he he he he...
July 19, 2007 12:29 PM
My daughter will be 3 YEARS OLD next week. So probably 7 months prior to that. (she was 8 weeks early)
I'm guessing it will hurt - alot.
July 19, 2007 12:50 PM
We waited 9 weeks with our first and it did not hurt. We waited 6 weeks with the other babies. NO PROBLEMS!!
July 19, 2007 12:57 PM
First time was exactly 6 weeks postpartum (2 weeks ago). Nope, didn't hurt; but I was as nervous as if it were the first time again. Since then, no problems at all.
Grace L |
July 19, 2007 12:57 PM
ahem... 3weeks. no pain but a lot of fear that there would be after 17 hours and a killer episiotomy. Oh, and I waited until I got my period (breastfeeding) to go back on the pill. 8 months later it still hadn't started up again. OOPPS- 'cuz I was pregnant again. Beware.
July 19, 2007 01:17 PM
I think this is my first comment too!
We waited the standard 6 weeks. I had a 3rd degree tear so I wasn't going there until my midwife said all was healed nicely. It did hurt but the discomfort went away after a little stretching. Sometimes there is still a little discomfort but I had a killer tear, a ton of stitches, and a lot of healing to do. Good luck!
July 19, 2007 03:39 PM
6 weeks and it didn't hurt but I'd had a c-section so was more worried about my scar than other bits!
July 19, 2007 04:15 PM
I recall reading a popular mommyblog that got 100+ responses. They ranged from 3 weeks to "what's sex?"
The average was something like 4 months.
I also recall that there was a heated discussion of "wanting to have sex with your partner because you actually feel desirous" and "obligatory - not obligatorrie - sex."
oh and hand jobs and blow jobs and blah blah blah
July 19, 2007 04:54 PM
i can't remember if it hurt so much but how LONG it took my husband to forget what he saw in the delivery room to WANT to have sex with me again. i guess i can't blame him ...
July 19, 2007 07:32 PM
I think it was at least two months for my husband to get ansty with our second. I must've caved sometime after that, even though I was super depressed and anxious and not at all wanting it. All this after at my 6 week appointment, my doctor asks me if we've done it yet and comments how some people don't "make it the 6 weeks". All I could think was "who the hell are these people??"
I don't remember it hurting, maybe a little uncomfortable, due to tearing during delivery.
I say, if you feel like it and you feel fine "down there", go for it!
July 19, 2007 08:01 PM
Um... 3 weeks to the day and we wanted to sooner but were nervous. I had a c-section & there was no pain for me just a little tender.
July 19, 2007 09:18 PM
six weeks, I wanted midwife okay first...
The actual sex did not hurt, but it did feel different. Then when I asked my husband how it was for him, he said and I quote "it was kinda like tossing a hotdog down a hallway". OUCH! That is what hurt.
File that for Husbands, under what not to say to your wife EVER.
July 20, 2007 10:07 AM
With each of our four kids, I think we waited anywhere between 5-7 weeks.
And, no, it didn't hurt me at all.
And it didn't hurt her either.
jon deal |
July 20, 2007 11:10 AM
Keely! That's AWFUL!
I hope he knows that he was in the wrong with that one!!!!
July 20, 2007 11:26 AM
I waited 4 months and it did hurt the first few times.
What helped most was to have LOTS of lube on hand and a couple of cosmopolitans beforehand. Seriously!
My OB-GYN actually suggested drinking alcohol prior to having sex to relax me. It relaxed me, and dulled some of the pain.
July 20, 2007 11:45 AM
With the first.... after the 6 week appt... I needed the depo shot since I'm allergic to latex.
We tried to make it a little fun.... a bit of wine and a bottle of lube.... it didn't hurt at all but I was very tentative at first.
It definitely felt "different" to be back in the saddle but the feelings got back to normal after a while.... kegels help... and the first time you make a move and realize you are still acting like you're moving around your big old belly.... that's worth a laugh.
And, since no one else has told you, I'll be brutally honest and say it.... breastfeeding makes you, ehem, dry.... so go ahead and buy the big bottle of astroglide.
July 20, 2007 02:52 PM
6 weeks, and yes it hurt (I'd had 36 internal and external stitches) It felt like the first time I'd ever had sex and I bled. :(
July 20, 2007 04:40 PM
We waited for the OK..GO from the OB as well. Even though I had a C-section, it was still uncomfortable and a little dry. So I agree with Homestead. Invest in some good lube and go for it (when you're ready)!
July 20, 2007 09:20 PM
Right about 6 weeks, and I had no problems. For whatever reason, though, when I came home, my mother (I was 17 and still lived with her) said I didn't act like I'd just had a baby. My first day home, I can remember her asking me if it didn't hurt to sit that way (Indian style). It didn't. *shrugs*
July 20, 2007 11:52 PM
Be careful. I cannot tell you how many people I know that got pregnant, while breast-feeding, the first time they had sex after baby.
July 21, 2007 07:44 AM
months and months and months. and months. we had a c-section though. while it didn't hurt, i just didn't want to. how is that for cheerful??
July 21, 2007 08:46 PM
Bryna - You meant that for Londak, right? We only waited 3 weeks because we both couldn't wait. Between having a c-section and having a very gentle, loving husband it was wonderful. No pain. We're enjoying being active, happy new parents and I healed perfectly. I feel lucky. :)
July 22, 2007 02:18 AM
First baby, 6 weeks.
Second baby, 5 weeks.
Third, 4 weeks.
She is eight months old now and I'm not preggers so it was a good thing! I'd say it was a bit uncomfortable but nothing too bad.
July 22, 2007 09:46 PM
Yeah Keely... I had a hard time realizing the name for the comment is on the bottom... oops!
July 24, 2007 02:11 PM
6 weeks, Doctor recommended after 4th degree laceration. SO. Same Doctor also wisely advised me to suck down at least one glass of wine, take a deep breath and "just get through the first time", post delivery because it just plain wasn't going to be *good*. She was right. And.....this might be TMI....My breasts leaked during the act. Just be prepared.
July 26, 2007 12:51 AM
Major TMI Alert.
waited At least 6 weeks. Didn't have any tears with birth.
Not to scare you, but even with no tears something happened to me during birth and ended up with nerve damage and sex was like the most painful thing ever. Managed somehow to get preggo again 1 year later. Whatever damage happened with 1st one somehow got undone and now things are sort of normal again. Pain in sex sucks. Good luck.
July 27, 2007 11:43 AM
About two months with a bottle of wine and, ahem, lube. Yes, it hurt and there was even a little spotting.
And I have the same thing as DDM, like leaky.
July 30, 2007 08:56 PM
We waited 7 weeks after our first child and 5 after our second. It didn't hurt either time. I didn't have any stitches or tearing though and that probably makes a difference.
August 1, 2007 01:11 PM
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)
Remember personal info?
Comments: (you may use HTML tags for style)