Breastfeeding is like inserting a tampon
When I was little I thought using a tampon was insane.
I'm not sticking something in there.
I should also add that I was afraid of penises. My, how things have changed.
Anyway, like I was saying, I never thought I would shove a foreign object up my hoo-ha.
Then, the day after my 14th birthday, I got my period.
So, my mom bought me some maxi pads. I HATED them. They kept sticking to me. And jamming into my butt. And they made a crinkly sound when I walked. I was miserable.
I think I made it maybe a grand total of five hours before I asked my mom for a tampon.
After a couple of tries I inserted the tampon, and there has been no turning back.
It amazes me that I can walk around with a tampon in and not even feel it- I can even go swimming, and yet there are still people who choose to wear pads. This makes about as much sense to me as people who still use a bar of soap to wash themselves. *
(* I understand that there are a few of you who are very heavy bleeders and can't wear tampons, so please don't send me emails.)
What does this have to do with breastfeeding?
Well, when I was young I also thought I would NEVER breastfeed.
I thought it was weird. And gross.
Then I grew up and became a hippie.
And I everywhere I went I either read or heard that breastfeeding was the best thing you could do for your baby's health.
So, I decided when I had a baby I would try. I figured that even if I could breastfeed for a week that would be an accomplishment.
Then Willa was born and five minutes later she was on my breast. And it wasn't weird. Or gross. It felt very natural. And it felt like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
Now, I'm not saying it was easy. We struggled. Big time. On the second morning of Willa's life I stood in the bathroom at the hospital and cried because I felt like a failure. It took three lactation consultants and six weeks before the breastfeeding went smoothly. I look back on that time and I can't believe I made it through. If you had told me when Willa was born that it would be six weeks before we got breastfeeding down-six weeks of bloody nipples and pumping around the clock- I would have thought that I couldn't do it. But, I never gave up because I knew it was the best thing for Willa.
And here we are. Six months later. We are pros at breastfeeding. I'm so glad it worked out. It's so convenient. I don't have to worry about bringing bottles with me everywhere or mixing formula. If my kid is hungry I just whip out a boob.
Another bonus to breastfeeding that people hardly talk about? No period.
I haven't gotten my period since August 18th, 2006.
It is awesome.
(Do you like how I just brought this post full circle? That, my friends, takes talent.)
Comments
Aw that's sweet in an extremely intimately gross way.
Also you said hoo-ha.
Posted by: Jonathan | November 19, 2007 11:55 AM
I just hit the eight-month mark and I feel so glad that we've maintained our breastfeeding this long. I want to make it at least one year. I feel so grateful that my beautiful baby girl has never had formula. I am, however, very jealous that you haven't gotten your period back. My returned almost exactly one year after it went away. I wonder if it has something to do with returning to work.
Posted by: Audrey | November 19, 2007 12:31 PM
About 10 months after my son was born I was still revelling in the no period aspect of nursing. But I was a bit concerned, so I brought up the fact that I was not yet menstruating to my obgyn at my next visit. I wanted to start birth control to space out subsequent kids.
oops.
I hadn't gotten my period again because I was already pregnant with number 2.
I love my boys, but keep this little cautionary tale in mind...
Posted by: NJSue | November 19, 2007 01:35 PM
Aw man. You know, I had totally repressed the baby urge til I started reading your blog. And now you're saying breastfeeding isn't even all that bad.
So yeah. It's back. If I blurt out something about turning 30 & loving babies to the next boy I meet, it's totally your fault.
Posted by: iheartthirty | November 19, 2007 01:48 PM
Bloody nipples?! Oh, Lord, I didn't know about that. If I am ever going to have children, people are going to have to stop telling me these things.
Actually, on a more serious note, I've always been sort of ambivalent about having kids. Do you (the mothers here in general) think you would have wanted to have children if you knew all the things that would/could happen to your body?
Posted by: Tasha | November 19, 2007 02:40 PM
Yay for lactation specialists!
Posted by: Ern | November 19, 2007 03:15 PM
My eye just caught "penises" at the top. First read that as "pennies." Silly me.
You are very talented, with words and boobages. Go girl! lol
Posted by: mrtl | November 19, 2007 03:39 PM
If you love tampons, you should try the DivaCup or Instead Softcups. Those are awesome in an environmentally and vagina friendly way. :)
P.S. I loved breastfeeding. I miss it.
Posted by: Blu | November 19, 2007 03:48 PM
I liked nursing way better than the bottle, I knew the kid was about to be hungry before she did. I just hated when my engorged mamaries would choke the kid with so much milk she ended up puking down my shirt. Good times, good times.
Posted by: Strizz | November 19, 2007 05:48 PM
Clever post!
I think pregnancy is a lot like adolescence in general. All these things happen to your body over which you have absolutely no control, and your body changes in a way you've never even imagined before. So, yeah. I totally get you.
Period-free since May2006. Actually make that April, because the May bleed was actually another miscarriage. I'm hoping to continue the b/f until Paddy is one, so that will be April 2006 to (probably) March 2008. Yee har!
And, hell NO Tasha! To borrow a phrase, don't think about it, just do it.
Posted by: jen | November 19, 2007 09:12 PM
I BFed my daughter for 7 months and I was pregnant 2 months later. Then I BFed my son for 17 (SEVENTEEN!) months.
So, in 2007, when people would say "When was your last period," I'd get to say April 2005 and before that, October 2003. It was pretty awesome.
Posted by: The Simple Family/sj | November 19, 2007 09:13 PM
I love the word hoo ha. I can never bring myself to say 'vagina', so hoo ha it is!
I've never heard that breastfeeding stops your period......though back to your tampon story, I too would recommend the Diva Cup. Greatest $40 I ever spent.
When you stop feeding a human with your boobies, your hoo ha will thank you for the Diva Cup.
Posted by: Talea | November 19, 2007 09:55 PM
(Closes eyes, hands over ears) Lalalalalalalalala. Nudge me when it's safe for me to rejoin the conversation.
Posted by: Nilbo | November 19, 2007 10:29 PM
(when you say that it makes about as much sense as people who still use a bar of soap to wash themselves, you mean without a washcloth as well, right?)
Posted by: RzDrms | November 19, 2007 10:47 PM
This post is great. I can honestly say that I was never afraid of tampons but I am afraid of breastfeeding.....good thing I don't have kids yet.
Anyway, about that bar of soap thing....I still use a bar of soap and a loofah to shower. Why? Because I can't get Irish Spring Sport in a bottle and because when I use bottles I feel like I waste a lot of liquid soap. Maybe I am just WIERD. That is probably true :)
Posted by: hillary sanders | November 20, 2007 11:17 AM
I couldn't breast feed because of the medication I was on, but my BFF Summar does and I greatly admire her and all the women who do it. It is a sacrifice for the mother, and I do NOT think it's easier than bottles for several reasons; no need to go into it now.
I know a LOT of people though who got pregnant while breast-feeding, FYI:)
And the people that give dirty looks or make comments to women breast-feeding in public, like say, at a restaurant? Go F* yourselves. No, they cannot go in the bathroom; do YOU take YOUR dinner into the bathroom? That's what I thought. ~end rant~
Posted by: Farrell | November 20, 2007 12:34 PM
You crack my shit up.
I plan to try the boob thing too. I figure these damn things better have a higher function than being fun bags, damn it.
Posted by: southernfriedgirl | November 20, 2007 09:56 PM
Oy, I'm in week two of the breastfeeding/lactation consultant/should-I-just-give-up-already phase. Reading your post makes me (cautiously) optimistic).
Posted by: Uppahand | November 21, 2007 12:14 PM
That was a thing of beauty, that full circle post! It's been 4 weeks and the breastfeeding has been going well, but now my right nipple is acting up; what gives? Oh well, I'm fully committed to this thing, so on we go.
Posted by: victoria winters | November 21, 2007 03:03 PM
confessions - i didn't start wearing tampons until this past summer. i was 31. this of course was after penises AND a baby. i don't know what my deal was, but they did freak me out. remind me to come back and visit this post if we ever get to baby number two. i only lasted four weeks breastfeeding with my son. i want to try so much harder to go further next time around. congratulations on your success :)
Posted by: autumn | November 21, 2007 09:24 PM
boobs are like instant bandaids. they cure nearly every ailment!
cranky baby: boob
tired baby: boob
hungry baby: boob
baby with a boo boo: boob
they fix everything.
now that i have a 3 yr old and 6 yr old i don't have that option, but boy when i did i had no idea how good i had it.
now i actually have to be creative to sooth, discipline or feed them.
i'm glad you made it through. congrats to you and little willa.
Posted by: dana | November 21, 2007 09:50 PM
I'm a newer reader. I love the fact that some random "heavy bleeder" would email you about it. PS. Maxi pads are so filthy and nasty.
Posted by: manda | November 22, 2007 11:51 PM
Yeah, um, the whole not getting a period thing? That sounds dangerous to me. How do you know if and when you are maybe pregnant again? Do you take birth control right now? I never realized that when you breastfeed you cease to menstruate. I learned something new!
Posted by: Katie | November 23, 2007 12:05 AM
iheartthirty - Yes, I would still have my daughter anyway. She is SO worth all the streach marks in the world
hillary - Thank you! I so agree.
Finger's crossed... still waiting for that period. (almost three months - yikes)
Posted by: bryna | November 23, 2007 12:51 AM
I was like you. I never wanted to breastfeed and can't believe I have made it 6 months! Unfortunately I did get my period when Ali was 4 months old and that is when I started having trouble with my milk supply. I had to pump like crazy for weeks. I am so glad we worked through it...and I am with you on the convenience factor!
Posted by: Mrs. Dr. Dave | November 24, 2007 09:37 PM
Iheartthirty: In a word, YES. THEY ARE SO WORTH IT. You'll never know until you do it, trust me.
Posted by: victoria winters | November 25, 2007 01:27 PM
Are you pregnant again? Is that why you are confused and overwhelmed and also buying condoms and a pregnancy test? Willa will be a good big sister ;-)
Posted by: Mrs. Cotton | November 27, 2007 03:40 PM
Is a diva cup a menstrual flow collector? If so eeew.
Random this, I just realized I was linking to a homepage I forgot I even had. Also I forget the balls story. URL fixed
Posted by: Strizz | November 27, 2007 10:20 PM
boobs are like instant bandaids. they cure nearly every ailment!
cranky baby: boob
tired baby: boob
hungry baby: boob
baby with a boo boo: boob
they fix everything.
This is what I came to say :)
Posted by: kristiane | November 29, 2007 09:23 PM
Friggin update
Posted by: Strizz | November 30, 2007 12:28 PM
Tampons are bleached and have lots of chemicals in them, so that's a main reason I'll never put one in me. I know, pads are too - but I'd rather have those chemicals on the surface and not inside me. I'm still waffling on buying a Diva cup.
Posted by: oi | December 3, 2007 09:43 PM
You have a great take on a world I know very little about. As a new husband looking to be a father I'm still a little hesitant about kids, at least for a little while longer. It's good to know there's incentives like "lack of period" and "whipping out boobs". Other than making cute little tiny babies of course.
Posted by: jeremy | December 4, 2007 10:16 AM
Bloody nipples?? Oh man, the more I hear about pregnancy the more freaked out I get about it. At least I'll have a better idea of what I'm getting myself into, but whooooa! My husband does not like when I hear one of these pregnancy/post-pregnancy "secrets" because I have a panic attack and refuse to have sex for about a week. Totally kidding. I'm excited to have kids and go through all these experiences, but I definitely turn into a big baby after phrases like "bloody nipples".
Posted by: Shannon | December 5, 2007 02:21 PM
1st time reader, but just wanted to give you Kudos for persevering, so many don't.
The no period thing, I never started my cycle again until my kids were over a year old (all 3 of them). Bliss, I tell you.
Posted by: kym b | December 7, 2007 11:58 AM