She's talking about her boobs, AGAIN.
So, Willa stopped breast feeding the other day. She was a day shy of 13 months.
The strange part is that she stopped cold turkey. She breast fed like she normally does on Friday night before bed, and then Saturday morning she refused. She acted like I was trying to pour castor oil down her throat. I thought maybe it was because she is teething, but she went the whole day without breast feeding. Tomorrow will be one week.
Now, I know everyone says this about their kids, but Willa really is an unusual baby.
So, it did not really surprise me that she quit like that, but I was concerned.
When i called the pediatrician to tell him he said "that's weird".
I can only get her to drink 4-6 ounces of soy milk a and she's supposed to have about 24 ounces.
Because of this she is eating like a 16 year old football player. I can't give her enough food.
She eats 3 huge meals a day and at least 2 snacks. Everything she eats is organic and healthy, so I'm not worried about her getting enough nutrition, but I am worried about her getting enough fat. The only dairy product I was willing to give her was yogurt, but she doesn't like it- which is funny, because she likes almost everything.
I'm trying to give her lots of avocado and olive oil.
On a personal note-
I have mixed emotions about the breast feeding being over.
I will miss the convenience of it. I will miss having something to soothe my child with. The insane, worse case scenario part of me will miss having a back up food supply for my kid if we are ever stuck on a plane for 11 hours or trapped in our car in a snow storm. I will miss knowing that she is getting awesome nutrients and anti-bodies. I'm really happy that I breast fed my child for a year, especially considering I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it at all.
How does the other part of me feel about it?
HALLELUJAH!
Willa has not taken a bottle since she was about 4 months old. That is totally my fault. When my dad was sick and right after he died, there was a period where I didn't give Willa a bottle for a couple of weeks. For those of you who have never breast fed I'll let you in on a little secret. Having someone give the baby a bottle is not as convenient as it sounds. Every time someone gives the baby a bottle your breasts still need to be drained, so you have to pump. When I was really busy it was just easier for me to give Willa the boob. No one was around helping me- my husband was working a lot- and if I gave her a bottle I would then have to pump- and find a way to occupy her while I was doing it, and I didn't have time for that. So, she went a couple of weeks without a bottle. And when things settled down and I thought it might be nice to spend an hour or two away from Willa, she refused to take a bottle. REFUSED. believe me we tried all different types of bottles, but Willa is a stubborn child, and I was too tired and emotionally drained to listen to her scream, so I gave her the boob. I had no idea how I was going to wean her, and I was afraid she would never give up the boob.
*(Hey new moms or moms to be- PLEASE give your baby a bottle. Once breast feeding is established- usually around 2-3 weeks- there is no reason you can't give your baby a bottle. Nipple confusion is a myth. Being able to leave your baby alone for more than a few minutes is important for your mental health. Please learn from my mistake and give your baby a bottle!)
So, yep, for 8-9 months it was all me. All boobs, all the time.
Which meant that I could never really go anywhere for very long.
And the insane irrational part of me would worry that I would get into a car accident and die and then WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!?
Exclusively breast feeding made me a prisoner. I couldn't be away from my child for more than a few hours. And breast feeding was part of Willa's bed time routine, so I could never go anywhere at night before 8pm which was really limiting.
I had no idea how we were going to get Willa to go to sleep without breast feeding, but that first night we just put her in her crib and she cried for maybe 2 minutes and then went to sleep. Just like that.
So, now I have this new sense of freedom.
I don't have to be there when she wakes up in the morning! I don't have to be there for nap time! I can go to a 7:30 movie! The world is my oyster!
I think maybe this is an opportunity for me to focus on myself a little bit. If I can even remember how to do that.
Comments
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I want to breastfeed, but like you were, I'm worried I won't be able to. It seems like the right move for a lot of reason, most selfishly, cheaper than formula!
I'm glad you were so successful at it. And thanks for the bottle tip! I will be SURE to ignore the mythical nipple confusion assvice.
Welcome back to freedom of the boobs! ;-)
Posted by: Pocklock | June 20, 2008 03:09 PM
I still have you to thank for encouraging me to go out and get those soothies (and I ended up getting the bottle made by the same people as well) for Zoe. I was so worried about that dreaded nipple confusion and the breast feeding people were telling me my "boob or pinkies nothing else". I was about ready to pull my hair out and I swear my boobs or my pinkies (or both) were going to fall off because Zoe constantly needed that gratification. I wish I'd been able to breastfeed as long as you were able to (Zoe wasn't getting enough fat and ended up weaning herself from her morning and bedtime feedings) but now I can't help but appreciate the freedom I had (partly because of your advice). I'm glad you'll have some freedom now - you've earned it! :)
Posted by: Keely | June 20, 2008 03:42 PM
I'll bet if you look closely, you will find that Willa didn't quit cold turkey - she was using The Boob Patch. Hell, maybe she was even sneaking off the Boobs Anonymous meetings when you thought she was napping.
Kids are sneaky like that.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | June 20, 2008 04:11 PM
FREEDOM!!!! Ah, sweet freedom. I couldn't even make it past 3 months, and you were willing to keep going after 13!
Enjoy the freedom. You deserve it.
Posted by: Sarah | June 20, 2008 04:14 PM
Yeah that she weaned herself, and that you are free from the boob prison. Can you add the fruity fish oils with DHA and ARA to her food? Will she drink smoothis...wait, I am ahead of myself her she is just 13 months old...but you might be able to mask some of that with higher fat foods. They are great for the brain development (which is what you are worried about right?)and easy to find at health food stores. I wish that I had been able to breastfeed, of course my body failed me in that aspect, but my boy is healthy and happy so I can't complain. Good Luck and stock up...the appetite only gets BIGGER from here!
Posted by: MommasTantrum | June 20, 2008 05:10 PM
We're vegetarian, so I can't give Willa fish oil.
Posted by: torrie | June 20, 2008 06:27 PM
I didn't breastfeed but I greatly admire women who do. You deserve to have more than a few moments to yourself!
I know this isn't the same thing: but my daughter used to suck her thumb until one day she didn't. Just like that. No discussion, nothing. Just stopped, then never talked about it or tried it again.
Posted by: Farrell | June 22, 2008 11:23 PM
flax seed oil is another good source of omegas and also for fats have you tried tahini? my one year old just spontaneously weaned himself too and doesn't seem to want any other liquids except water so having to think of other ways to get fats into him...
i felt a bit rejected to be quite honest - and this was all supposed to get easier! :) yay freedom though, we've been boob exclusive until now too...
Posted by: grublet | June 23, 2008 02:05 AM
I hear ya. Breastfeeding is part of Claire's (8 months old) night night routine too, but I'm usually home anyway, so it's not big deal. I pump while at work and her daddy gives it to her in a bottle, so we're set on that front. I think I'll cry when/if Claire weans herself - especially all of a sudden - because as much of a pain it is to breastfeed, it's been a really positive experience for me/us. I feel connected to her when I'm at work, I know she's getting the best nutrients possible, and it's a bonding/closeness only I have the privilege of having with her. I'm sure you understand. That being said, if I ever get an invite to go to a 7:00 movie with a friend, it will be nice not to have to worry if Claire will go to sleep easily without the boob! ;0)
Posted by: Victoria Winters | June 23, 2008 12:10 PM
Hoooray! Sanity is such a great thing. ;)
Posted by: mrtl | June 23, 2008 09:24 PM
I went through the same thing: My son wouldn't take a bottle for 4 months. The lactation consultants in the hospital kept warning me not to give him too many bottles b/c he wouldn't take the breast--in reality, the exact opposite is true!
So yes, breastfeeding moms-to-be, give your baby a bottle every day!
Posted by: Uppahand | June 24, 2008 09:22 PM
I FEEL your pain. I think I went through exactly that 9 years ago (My kid s now 11) Oh I feel old saying that!
Posted by: Joanna | June 24, 2008 10:19 PM
I love the breastfeeding, but the part I look forward to the most when he's weaned: having a beer or a glass of wine without having to count how many hours it will be until I have to feed him again -- I hate when I'm offered a drink and I have to sit there and do the math.
I'm kinda hoping Owen weans himself, only because I don't know how to do it (emotionally and physically!)
Posted by: Erin | June 26, 2008 12:22 AM