Weighing on my mind
Today I am sad. I was sitting here listening to Willa playing with my mother in the other room- she was giggling and having a great time. I was thinking back to when she was smaller- just a few months old- there was a word I would say and she would instantly giggle. I can't remember what the word was.
Willa is just a little over a year and I'm already forgetting the little details.
I curse myself for not writing everything down. I curse my laziness.
I just feel like life is flying by, and I wish it would slow down. I'm not living life to the fullest. I'm not savoring the small moments.
My kid is waving to everyone. And taking steps. And saying new words every day. I feel like I was just pregnant yesterday.
I feel like I'm going to blink and it's going to be her first day of kindergarten. And then I'm going to blink again and she's going to be going to the prom.
Life is flying by and I don't feel like I'm doing a good enough job of documenting it.
I think the move is making me sentimental.
Also, yesterday would have been my dad's 71st birthday.
I hope the stress I am feeling now doesn't crush me.
Comments
Not going to call you Debbie Downer. If I had the money, I'd fly out there and hug you and then help you move and all I'd ask you for is some cake. Days like this are understandable. I've still not even started Zoe's baby book. It's OK.
Posted by: Keely | June 3, 2008 11:47 AM
Torrie - i don't know what to say to make things feel better. I am sorry that I don't. But, do know that there are lots of internet friends thinking about you and your family. It'll all be ok....even when it sucks and it flies by.
Posted by: hillary sanders | June 3, 2008 04:37 PM
Torrie, I know how you feel about not documenting the little things enough, but don't be too hard on yourself. I figure that the thousands of pictures I have of my kids will invoke enough memories and stories to keep us all satisfied as they grow and I imagine you can say the same.
Posted by: bente | June 3, 2008 09:17 PM
My little one is growing up faster than I want her to as well. It's hard not to bottle her up and not let her get any bigger. But then, there wouldn't be any of the great "new" things that she does. Don't worry about it, I think it's 100% normal not to get it all. As Nola would say, "oh!" :)
Posted by: Bryna | June 5, 2008 10:32 AM
Hi Torrie.
The baby sounds adorable and
you are living precious moments in your lives now.
But I encourage you not
to freak out too much about
not documenting.
Documentation has a price to pay; it demands disattachment (like time away) from living the life you want to document in the first place.
I've raised 2 kids and
relish all the memories and pictures we do have. Its enough for me.
Posted by: Shari | June 6, 2008 07:59 AM
Memories in your head are the greatest. It is hard and trust me, gets harder if you have more. I don't even know where my 3rd daughter's baby book is, or if one exists. :)
Posted by: Jana | June 12, 2008 04:24 PM
you'll remember the really important things - don't worry
Posted by: Annejelynn | June 18, 2008 11:58 AM
Your job is to enjoy it, not to document it.
You'll remember what you need to. The rest is just details. :)
Posted by: Jonathan | June 19, 2008 11:52 AM