Ha! Good one's! Some of mine:
Problem solve, Zoe.
Do you have to poop?
Don't eat the dog food.
Quit trying to be a stunt baby.
Please don't stand on that.

well, since my first one is old now...the one thing I've said (too many times), that I promised myself I would never say is, "because I said so." I die a little each time I'm forced to use it.

(to 16 year old son who won't apply for a job, and refuses to go anywhere by foot or bike, unless it is a car being driven by me): "I used to have to ride my bike to Pizza Hut which was 6 miles away? There AND back! JUST to prep the salad bar! And then I'd RIDE back later that day to work a closing shift!"

(I never thought I'd say it because IT'S A LIE!! I mean I DID work at Pizza Hut, sometimes a double shift, but NEVER had to ride my bike those 6 miles. I said it cuz I wanted the little bugger to feel guilty. It worked!)

Please stop saying F**k.

Did you poop in the tub again?

Stop eating the cat please.

Mommy is not my name, I do now know of whom you speak.

Hmmm..

-if you ever want me to die, just get a tattoo (i can't believe i said this)

-please don't yell at your imaginary friend

-because i said so

Hi, I'm a lurker, but I had to comment.

My list includes the still number 1 item: "Who put steak on top of the entertainment center?"

Stop licking your brother.
Get off my head.
Get off the truck.
Stop making the cat breakdance.
Stop climbing the fridge!!
Do you know how to knock? I am peeing!

That's only a few...

Thanks for sharing

I'm currently 5 1/2 months pregnant with my first. I'll have to remember to keep a list.
Thanks this was great.

Where is your diaper?

Great topic.

"See, there's the poo in the toilet. That's how grownups do poos, not in their nappies. Well- not until they're much, much older"

Get that tampon out of your mouth!

Where's daddy's doodle?

Do you want to play with mummy's pins?

My nipples are not handles.

Stop biting me!

Here, try this beer.

Come here and have some chocolate.

Shut up shut up shut UP!

What the f**k is wrong with you?

Mmmmm- Yummy medicine

Please stop eating (the cat)'s tail. It's yucky and she doesn't like it.

Please don't touch mummy's bottom. It's dirty and it's just plain weird.

Well, as yet, I do not have any small people of my own, but I find myself saying "Stop freaking out at me, I'm not going to feed you again!" to my goldfish most days.

Which makes me kind of worry about my future parenting skills....

when i read your post yesterday i thought, there must be some sayings but i just can't think of any right now. then tonight when i was bathing the twinkle i caught myself saying "don't ever put your toothbrush on your bottom" and thought of you straight away.

Keep your hands out of your sister's pants.
I have 2 girls.

"No, I did not move your dead moth"
"Stop calling your brother a badger"
"Why is there poo on the fireman's helmet?"

The only one I have used so far is "Mommy is stonger than you and just as strong willed!"

(along with a lot of the same ones as you...)

LOL. I'm sure there are more, but:
-*I* am the boss! Me, not you!
-If you don't stop yelling and screaming right this instant, I will pull this car around....
-Mommy needs a time-out
-Mommy is not a jungle gym
-*I* AM talking nicely to you!
-That's my final answer.

When he was a teenager, in response to the endless "I want.."
People in hell want ice water.
And the one that I am ashamed to say is a direct quote from my parents: This isn't a restaurant.

"Why is there pudding in this slipper?" is still at a long list of things I never thought I'd say after having kids.