Seriously?

At least he's got an opinion at all.

I am quite disappointed in you. That's really all I have to say. I enjoyed reading your blog and was quite excited you started a new blog, but now I'm removing your URL from my bookmarks--not because of your political views (as I'm not sure who I am even voting for), but because of how judgmental you've become.

I do wish you and your family the best and hope your daughter turns out to be a better person than you.

I'd like to point out that I have always been judgmental- it's nothing new- hence the name of this blog.

I also hope that Willa is a better person than me. Doesn't every parent?

I've had the same kinda moment with people, too, and I just had to tell myself that they'd have the same little screeching halt moment if they came upon an Obama/Biden sign in my front yard. I'm thinking that they're heartless, fag-hating, bible-thumping warmongers, and they're thinking that I'm a skanky, baby-killing, godless welfare queen. I just have to take a deep breath and remember that this person I've liked up until now is probably not all the way to the right, much as I'm not all the way to the left.

The above commenter can seriously shove it.

I believe in honesty. I also sort of know how you feel. This man comes to work on my microscope sometimes and one time he mentioned how much faith he has in Palin and that just about killed my respect in his intellect.

I also removed a woman from my blogroll because she lambasted John Edwards for having an affair but included a picture of Giuliani.

In complete agreement with Alyssa. I guess only people with Obama signs are "right"...what a small view of the world. I'm sorry that Willa will be so limited by your small tolerance for anyone that differs from you. Good luck when you try to teach her good socialization skills..."Watch out honey, she might come from a Republican home! Let's find out before you play with her. We wouldn't want you playing with the "wrong" people!"

I'm sorry. I must have missed the part where I said I wouldn't be taking Willa to visit him anymore.

I think that you need to ask Chick about the sign. It is possible that he is not as politically aware as you are. It's even possible that someone else put the sign in his yard for him. Find out why the sign is there before you condemn him.

I think it's funny that a few of the commenters here are lambasting you for being judgemental, and by doing so, THEY ARE BEING JUDGEMENTAL. heh. (removing you from their blog list?? oooh! Scary! hehe)

However, I try to think like Bucky-Four-Eyes. Just because someone is on 'this side' or 'that side' doesn't automatically mean that they think 100% EVERYTHING a certain way. I personally fall on either 'side' (the fact that there are sides just drives me crazy, but that's beside the point.) on a lot of varying issues. And I'd like to think that if I made a decision to put a sign in my yard (which I would never do, because then my husband would have to cut the grass around it, ha!) that people wouldn't automatically make assumptions about every single opinion I might have. I try not to let someone's differing opinion effect my friendship with them. If I did that, there would only be 1 blog I could read and only 1 person I could be friends with. MYSELF!

I think it's less about being judgmental and more that we Americans tend assume that people we meet are just like us. Until we find out that they aren't.

Torrie never said that she disliked Chick because of it or would stop visiting him (in fact, she made a point of saying that she WOULD continue to stop by)... she just said she'd view him differently.

I'm sure that it's the same way people feel when they find out I'm gay. I'm still the same person I was before.. but they view me differently, because it wasn't something they could guess by looking at me or talking to me.

Bucky FourEyes has it exactly right. There may be so many reasons for that sign. Consider that he may well be Roman Catholic, and the potential of a pro-choice president is anathema to him. I don't agree, but I know many elders in our community who simply can't, on the basis of faith, bring themselves to vote Dem.

Consider all the possibilities before you throw your own faith (in Chick) out the window.

It's a dilemma, isn't it? I have a major problem with the majority of Republicans because of their intolerance, and yet I find myself angry at those who display their differences from me when it comes to politics. Where does it cross the line into total hypocrisy?

I think Willa should know that the world goes 'round and 'round and hopefully she'll grow up and think the same. Be a shame for her to miss out on a friend. I'm sure she wouldn't get stood up by him. I wonder if her mother was the reason?

Susan, I can only assume you are referring to my twitter from yesterday that we were stood up by a playdate.
Actually, it was a miscommunication- The other woman was at a different playground.
Isn't you judging me by a few sentences I wrote worse than me being disappointed in someone for supporting a candidate I am morally opposed to?

Then I apologize for that; I like reading your twitters just to find out what you're bitching about this time!

Then I guess none of us are friends with anyone who voted for Bush? I have friends voting for both, it doesn't change my relationships to them because it's their vote, not mine. They can do as they please as long as they vote. Thats what we should all be concerned with.

Eh, I've read you for awhile and it doesn't change my opinion of you. But I'm slightly disappointed...Not in you, but in MANY. I'm not an Obama supporter. I don't think I'm a McCain supporter either, though.

BUt still, I'm tired of being gasping and having heart attacks all because I say I don't support Obama. What does it even matter? The guy will probably win anyway even if I voted against him....

I can totally relate to this post, even if it's not something I'm happy to admit. It's like a punch in the gut sometimes when you realize (however judgmental it may be) that someone you know (or thought you knew) supports a cause you despise. You can only turn your head so far.

Stop being so defensive...if you didn't want to open yourself up for comments both positive and negative about your "disappointment" in someone's political affiliation then you shouldn't have written a post about it. You had to have know in the middle of a very close election season that some would take issue you with your judgemental attitude.

Again, a McCain/Palin sign does not necessarily equal "wrong" as you put it...and an Obama sign does not necessarily equal "right". What they do mean is different. I assume you hope that others will respect your political affiliation and not be "crestfallen" about it and believe you to be "wrong". Unless you only affiliate yourself with people of your own party to alleviate those pesky crestfallen feelings.

Try to be tolerent with your commenters and with your neighbors...it makes for a much nicer way of life and it is what makes the world go around.

If someone misunderstands what I'm saying or accuses me of being something that I'm not then I will absolutely defend myself, but that doesn't make me defensive.

I have judged people for things like cutting their nails on the subway, not saying thank you, and many many other things. so to me, judging or having a different opinion of someone based on what candidate they support makes sense.

everyone is entitled to their opinion, and no opinion is wrong. but i would certainly think twice about hanging out with someone who wasn't pro-choice or supported an anti-choice candidate, and i'm very much not into politics.

Good thing this is a BLOG. An opinion, not a statement of fact. Torrie can say whatever, and like whoever, and support whichever candidate, she wants. And we all love to read what she has to say about things, or we wouldn't come back all the time to see what she's up to. Give her a break.

That said, Sarah Palin creeps me out and John McCain looks like he should have died years ago.

Man, some of these comments are just making me cringe. My parents always taught me to avoid talking about politics with anyone - partly because they were always in disagreement. Now, I only talk about it with my husband because it's just easier - we see eye to eye on just about all the issues. I guess what I'm saying is I'm a total chicken and that you wrote what I'm pretty sure most people can relate to, they just want to act like they would never say such a thing. It makes sense that you would view Chick differently, of course you will! But you never said you didn't still care about him or that you would never speak to him again.

And Willa - she's very lucky to have such an honest, articulate mother who questions what she thinks is wrong and stands up for her beliefs. Little girls - and boys - need role models that are willing to say what others aren't.

I'm proud of my sister, Bucky, and I second her emotion. And the person who said Bucky can seriously shove it? Clearly, does not know who she's dealing with. Bucky may shove it on a regular basis, but you can't make her do it SERIOUSLY.

There are, and always will be, good, decent people who think differently than you do. My hope is that they can see you for the good, decent person you are, and you can do the same for them.

Susie, I think Lady was referring to Alyssa's comment, although, Bucky has been known to enjoy shoving it.

I always shove it with a silly grin on my face.

The gerbils, however, are not grinning.

Ooohhh. I did think that was a bit disproportionate. Still, it's more fun if I read it as a response to Bucky :)

Good thing this blog is called "I pretty much hate everything" and not "Puppies and Rainbows". You people have got to be kidding me.

Oh my god! Torrie made a judged someone! Stop the fucking presses! God forbid anyone judge another person like ever and clearly it isn't what you all are doing to her right this second.

And I'm going to throw my judgment right in their with hers: As of late especially, when I find out that a long time friend is actually a republican I too get a little crestfallen. And though political affiliation isn't the basis of any relationship there's still that sudden slug to the gut upon finding out. But hey! You move on! Not a big deal and I'm sure tomorrow T will be back to hating other things and you all will find something else to judge her on. Wins all around.

I don't know... that statement you made about never viewing him the same way again... I'm with those who think that is a little harsh.

It's JUST politics. Is that the sole measure by which we should judge people?

I had a similar reaction when my neighbors put a NOBAMA sticker on their car. Even harder for me to take than a sign professing allegiance to He-who-must-not-be-named is the inherent hatred present in saying NO to Obama.

I think of them differently than I used to, absolutely. I also refrained from putting my political magnet on my car, because I didn't want them (cousins of my landlord) to start viewing *me* differently.

i'm loving Chick for what he IS, all of him (kindness, love of kids and animals, an old person, etc.), including his beliefs, despite me voting for obama, despite me being pro-life at the same time. human rights, is what i'm for. i support his rights wholeheartedly: "i may not [fully] agree with what you have to say, but i'll defend to the death your right to say it." (paraphrasing voltaire)

and very loosely paraphrasing dr. mlk jr.: "i have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin [nor by the person they choose to vote for/sleep with/marry/hire/be friends with] but by the content of their character."

T, I know exactly what you mean.

I think it takes a lot of guts to put your opinion on the line in front of the whole internet, especially when you come under fire from multiple sides when you say something controversial. The bottom line is that there's no way to state an opinion about someone without being "judgemental." And this blog is clearly about one person's opinions: read the friggin' title. On the one hand, no one wants to be intolerant, but to quote Pascal (I'm so pretentious): "You can have such an open mind that it is too porous to hold a conviction." Let's be honest: we have to respect others' views, but that doesn't mean that we can't fault them for believing in what we see as wrong.

Torrie, I'm glad you posted this, and I find the comment thread fascinating.

Alyce, I wish you had an URL, I'd like to know more about you. Do you see that right there in your second paragraph, you're saying "I didn't take a public stand like they did, because I didn't want them to do to me what I did to them"?

Fascinating.

And Torrie, it is so good to have a spouse who not only has your back, but is smart. Yay for both of you.

(actually, it's george crane, not pascal...and it's certainly not pretentious to quote someone.)

saw your twitters and had to come over and see the fuss...my you have drawn quite a stir, and i am adoring the quote your husband left. I need to keep it in mind quite often. 'tis good to have an opinion, even an opinionated one.

I have had that exact same sinking feeling upon seeing a McCain sign or bumper sticker belonging to someone I know, but didn't previously know their political views. It DOES feel like a wave of disappointment, mostly just because you realize that you won't see eye-to-eye with them on many subjects. It doesn't mean you won't speak to them or be friendly to them in the future!

what's wrong with people...Torrie is just expressing her opinion!
Obama or McCain..nothing much is really going to change. maybe the players will change but the game in washington will still be the same!!

Nice to see Dr. Torrie also expressing his views here :)...

I'm not in the habit of looking at "blogs," but my wife showed this to me and I couldn't resist giving my opinion. "Dr. Torrie"-- a doctor that is in favor of Socialized Medicine? That has to be the biggest joke of this entire thread.

Sincerely, Dr. C. Moore, one who is obviously better educated on insurance, medicine and economics, as well as being much more well traveled and generally more experienced than "Dr. Torrie."

"How can one who practices medicine be so wrong?"

I've read your blog for a long time, and I can't believe you'd make such a shallow statement. How can you condemn a person because they don't share your political views?

Several of my friends do not agree with my views, but I respect their right to have a different opinion about who should lead our country. Choosing one person over another is rarely a black-and-white decision. There are all shades of gray in between.

Dr. Moore,

First, I'm confused as to where my husband said he believes in socialized medicine. Unlike some people, he won't vote for a candidate based on one issue.

Second, I'm sure his education at Harvard College, and Harvard Medical School was sub par.

Wow! This is certainly interesting . . .

Torrie, I guess no one can fault you for stating your feelings (or at least your immediate reaction) honestly. But think about it. Is that the kind of reaction you want to be having about people? This is a friendly old guy who is probably well-liked in your neighborhood. Now I am sure that others who like him may also disagree with him politically. They've gotten past it, and so should you. Heck, you never know when you guys may agree on something despite your differences in political affiliation.

Look, I admit to being a political activist. I put yard signs in my yard and bumper stickers on my car (more than my wife likes). I get yard signs and bumper stickers for other people. I hand out political literature at the polls. But I get along with a lot of neighbors who do not agree with me. I still talk with them and not mention (or think about) politics. My kids play with their kids. We often agree on a lot of family and economic issues.

Torrie, just remember that when you are Chick's age, you may have a different perspective as well. You never know; he might have been a Democrat at some point in his life. Do you think you will hold all the same opinions over the next 40 years?

There's a rabbinical teaching that someone can obey all 613 commandments and still be a jerk. Similarly, you may find that Chick is a nice guy (despite your political differences), but someone with whom you agree politically is otherwise pretty rotten. With whom would you rather hang out?

We may disagree politically, but I also realize that you are a normal (and probably a nice) person who is trying to live a good life just like the rest of us. It's OK. Just breathe, relax, and visit your neighbors.

And by the way everyone, just because someone votes Republican doesn't make that person "intolerant." Really, people, grow up!

Wow, Dr. Moore. Amazing how you were able to ascertain Dr. Torrie's medical credentials and travel experience from one paragraph. Forget medicine - some network should give you your own "The Psychic Doctor" TV show.

I have to wonder how differently some of these comments would be playing out if Torrie had said she was disappointed that Chick had an Obama sign on his lawn.

The irony here is that this really wasn't meant to be a post about politics. It was just supposed to be an example of how I was feeling.
It's a shame it has been taken out of context and blown out of proportion.
As usual, people on the internet, hiding behind their computers, looking to start a fight.

Thought I'd put two more cents in here, basically the same thing I said to you on Twitter.
It is fascinating how Dr. Moore, if he is indeed a doctor (and how would we know?) was able to extrapolate all manner of information from Dr. Torrie's very husbandly comment. We may all make some assumptions about Dr. Torrie's political leanings, but simply from reading his comment, we can't actually know for whom he plans to vote. Except that somehow Dr. Moore can tell that and so much more. Like Bucky says, psychic.

As someone else who went to Harvard, I hate when people use Harvard as a measure of someone else's intelligence. Or you know, lawn signs. That said, keep saying what you're saying. It's your blog. And your kid is cute. I'm going to quote Buffy: "the hardest thing in this world... is to live in it."

My husband never mentions that he went to Harvard- you have to pry it out of him-
"Where did you go to college?"
"Massachusetts"
"Where in Massachusetts?"
"Cambridge"
"Where in Cambridge?"
"Harvard"

I wasn't using Harvard as an example of his intelligence, I was using it as an example of his education.

Dr. Torrie,
I like you, I like your wife. I think you are really good, smart, warm people. But I must strongly disagree with using Pascal to back up your wife on this matter. I think it is one thing to be so open minded as to accept his politics (with which she very obviously disagrees). But I don't think, in being open minded or accepting of PEOPLE, it is possible to makes the brain too porous to hold anything except prejudice.

People are really taking this the wrong way, aren't they?

And "Dr. Moore"? I don't buy that he's a Dr. at all. I've never met a Dr. that uses the term "socialized medicine" - Drs. that hate all-powerful HMOs, yes, but a Dr. that doesn't want to treat patients? Rare.

Torrie, I would feel exactly the same as you. It's *OK* to feel the same as you!

I completely disagree with whoever said it's JUST politics. Our political views are informed and shaped by our personal values and beliefs. When someone doesn't share those same personal values and beliefs, it makes engaging in a meaningful relationship that much more difficult.

And anyway, don't most people have friendships with people who share their same core values? Aren't we entitled to the choice of who we wish to surround ourselves with? It's not being judgmental, it's just the reality of how friendships are formed.

(Not referring to your situation in the above - I know you didn't say you didn't want anything to do with your neighbor...just saying that it's OK to feel a certain way about a person based on their political views.)

In any case, I am sure there's more to your story than what people are so quick to assume ;)

I found your blog through Flickr, btw. at first when I read this post I thought, "Well, that's a bit harsh. He's not 'wrong' per se, just a difference of opinions." But then I remember once upon a Sunday a few months ago, when this sweet old lady at my church, whom I have much admirations for, approached me after the service and greeted me with a "God bless you" followed by..."Don't vote for Obama." I remembered dropping her hand that was shaking mine, forced myself to give her a tiny hint of a smile, and I walked away without a word. I was baffled that someone had dared to tell me (every person in church that Sunday) who to and not to vote for. I was disappointed in her.

So I get what you mean in this post, Torrie. That being disappointed and viewing the other person differently does not mean we hate them, does not mean we stop being friends with them (that'd be so junior high). You'd still talk to Chick and I'd still have a lot of other things I admire about that sweet old lady, what's the big deal?

So, kuddos to you for writing it and being honest about it.

Hi, I'm a reader of your blog for a long time now, but this is my first comment here. All I wanted to say that I agree with you absolutely. I had a friend once who was very close to my heart, but one day I found out that he supported many things that I fight against. I still remained friends with him, but since then we are not so close. It's natural. I respect him, but the things that he supports I cannot tolerate. I don't know you personally, only from your blog, but I do believe that you don't make hasty decisions about people's characters. I support your view 100%. Sorry if I have any spelling errors, English is only my third language.

I LOVE DR. TORRIE!!!

The missus ain't too bad, either. And they make bee-a-yoo-tiful babies.

And I love their politics.

That is all.

That's it, just because YOU MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, I'm unsubscribing, deleting your bookmark, erasing my history, reformatting my hard drive, and unplugging my computer forever. Why did you MAKE me read that thing about how you feel??? Political opinions??? Gah!!!

Har har! "...blown out of proportion..."? on the internet? Never! I think that the second thing (after porn) that the internet was invented for was exactly that. Oh, and comparing people to Hitler when you disagree with them.

Keep rockin' and don't let the commenters get you down. Personally, I can't wait for January 20, 2009 when Obama gets inaugurated. :-)

Torrie,
I may not agree with you politically - but I have to say as someone who moderates their comments I have to give you a big internet hug for posting both types of comments. That is not something a truly judgmental person would do. It is something a rational person would do. Good Job.

So I've been following along and would have been laughing if I didn't know it was upsetting you and hurting you.

You are opinionated. WE ALL ARE, as evidenced by the incredibly strong opinions directed against you here in your comment section. ;-)

I relate to this post and nodded my head when I read it. I have a very close friend for 20 years who I only recently found out voted for Bush. LOL. I didn't care, because I love her as family.
HOWEVER, someone I only know peripherally...as a neighbor or online contact, for example...I would feel that crestfallen disappointment. I did feel it a couple of weeks ago when I saw someone give supportive comments on a pro-McCain photo on Flickr. I was shocked to see his comment there, and upset. Will I stop being his contact? No.

It is natural to have a reaction when you learn something you didn't expect about someone. And you were honest about that. Most people lie through their fucking teeth.

I love you for always telling the truth.

So I think what my wife was writing about here was a pretty common experience, not supposed to be a purely political statement. It's equivalent to being interested in someone and finding out that they smoke, or shoplift, or do something else you happen to find irresponsible or inappropriate. It doesn't mean you won't talk to them or enjoy their company, but you might not want to date them. I defy anyone to tell me they've never been in this type of situation. Also, we make assumptions every day about people's beliefs based on their political, social, and other affiliations. This might not always be logical, but again, it's what we do as humans. We'd all like to think that we're perfectly open-minded towards everyone, but to admit the contrary in public is brave, not mean-spirited.

Wow. How annoying that you're getting shit for stating your opinion on your own blog.

I have felt the same way as you many times when I've found that someone I respected turned out to think very differently from me politically. A person's political point of view (which is probably well established if they have a sign in their yard!) says a lot about who they are as a person and what they believe in. And if you strongly disagree, then of course you're going to see them as being wrong.

And I do lose a little respect for people who agree with certain politics (and vote to restrict civil rights and civil liberties). I'm sure some people on the opposite side of me would say the same about me. Oh well.

Well, I will be happy to add you in my bookmarks to make up for the GAPING hole left by Alyssa removing you from hers. Bravo to you Torrie for being you. Willa is lucky and Dr. Torrie is awesome. I am voting for Obama because he is the moral choice for ME. I am glad he is for you as well.

I had the same experience only last week. I was chatting with a sweet older couple whose dog I look after. The news was on in the background. Out of nowhere, this usually softspoken gentleman made disparaging remarks about Obama- that he was "crazy" and "sounds like an idiot" - I was speechless. Then it was revealed that he was also a Vietnam veteran and opposed Obama because "we boys got to take care of our own." I respectfully pointed out that service in the armed forces doesn't equal the capability to be the President of the United States. It is admirable, yes, but isn't that argument going to become very inconvenient if Palin becomes President? And, he supported Palin because she is a hunter. (!) When I heard that, I could not get out of there fast enough. Just like Torrie, I will never view them the same way again. Am I judgmental? Depends on your definition I guess. My preconceived notions about their values were corrected, so my opinion of them was altered based on those newly-learned facts - that these seemingly rational people will vote not on the issues, but membership in a boys' club; that these seemingly animal-loving people have made a wildlife-murdering liar their champion; therefore, no, there is no reason to further the relationship beyond that of polite acquaintance.

A few more thoughts. As some of the other commenters mentioned, people's opinions can and do change. Hell, I voted for Bush. I was ignorant and didn't research anything about the issues. Now I'm old enough to think (and care.) Even my mother admitted, "I've always just voted Republican" because her church instructs so. This year, though, she has had an earful from me about why that blind loyalty has to end in '08. After sending her links to the candidates' voting records, the articles debunking all of Sarah Palin's duplicitous claims, and the detailed information Obama has provided about his plans for change, she has now decided to support Obama. It's scary how many people in this country are voting based on superfluous and irrelevant factors. Or habit. People need to stop arguing about lipstick and other BS and realize that this is the year to put the past aside, tune out all the sources of influence with a stake in the results that has nothing to do with their welfare, and ask themselves: Do I support 4 or 8 more years of how the economy's going? The war? The inability to get health insurance that actually covers anything? Voting the Republican ticket means you're voting to continue the path we're on. If that's your conscience, vote that. But, like Torrie, you can be damn sure I'd be disappointed to find that out if we were friends.

Hey...I am here to tell RZ Dreams to Shove it....man this is fun.

Hi RZ

I know exactly how you feel. My best friend called me yesterday and was telling me how good Palin is...I had to tell her to stop talking. It was horrible. I just can't understand how uneducated my friend is.

"shove it"?! why, i oughta...! ;)

hey...i'm back to tell william that i see lots of grey in his hair...this IS fun!

hi wills! :-P

I agree with many of the comments left by people who are amazed that someone they thought of in a certain way would have such a reaction as you did. I think the bottom line is that some people may not view you in the same way now -- just as you will not view Chick in the same way. For the former, who really cares -- it's a blog that people randomly read for a few minutes every now and then, and since most of us do not know you personally, it won't really affect us at all if we stop reading you. However, it is quite sad to me that someone (who just happens to be you in this situation) would miss out on the wonderful things that other people may have to offer just because of a sign in their yard. And yes, even though you say you will still stop by his house, your judgments about him will likely diminish the joy you got from visiting him -- which Willa will become keenly aware of, once she reaches a certain age. If you have this type of reaction and judgment against all people you interact with, simply because of one thing, I would find it amazing if Willa grew up to be an open-minded individual who respected other people's views and opinions (even those people close to her) just because they didn't coincide with her own.

Or, heaven forbid, if Willa grows up to side primarily with conservatives, yet tends to take after you in hastily considering others "wrong" because they do not agree with her -- I guess you could possibly break her heart and she might not ever look at you in the same way (or vice versa). That might leave you crestfallen as well.

... Furthermore, I can already foresee some people saying that who you vote for is not "one thing"...but Torrie viewing the sign in Chick's yard IS one thing. Torrie stated in an above comment that her husband "won't vote for a candidate based on one issue"...so who really knows why Chick supports a Republican candidate. Torrie doesn't know by simply seeing a sign in his yard.

I commented yesterday, wondering where viewing others differently because of their political affiliations fell in the wide spectrum of discrimination. I thought about it a bit, and this is where I pretty much stand -

It's not like I have an issue with my secretary (or you with your neighbor) because they were born a certain way. We're not talking about an orientation or a disability or anything that's outside of their control (such as race, sexual orientation, etc), we're talking about a CHOICE. A choice that you assume a person makes with knowledge of its consequences. And just like I would see you or anyone else differently if you CHOSE to be a drug addict, or a particular right-winger would see a woman differently upon finding that she CHOSE to have an abortion, I (and apparently you) have our fair opinions about an acquaintances CHOICE of a candidate that we believe will lead us further into strife.

That's how I feel when I find out people are supporting McCain/Palin.

Torrie is human. Those of us who have beliefs and opinions on anything have had to deal with these issues in some way. The political can be very personal. Otherwise everyone wouldn't be getting so riled up. Our beliefs about how we see the world, our fellow man, our country, and ourselves inform our political beliefs. They are related. So it's only natural to take pause when we discover a difference in someone else's worldview on an issue we may hold dear...especially when it catches us off guard.

Torrie, it says a lot about you that you've been able to post pretty much everyone's comments, and respond to the most hurtful ones with tact. I'll end with this quote: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

I agree with Pat and Ron. You are perfectly entitled to your opinion and reaction, but I think it's unfortunate when we can't respect and tolerate each other's differences. For some people, their political views are at the core of their identity, but I think for most people, this is not the case at all. It always puzzles me when people say, for example, they would never date or be friends with a Democrat/Republican - you would close yourself off to a world of possibilities simply because someone has a different outlook on politics?

I disagree with several of my friends about politics, but I would never, ever let it get in the way of our friendship - the friendships are more important to me. It makes me sad to think that some of my friends would be disappointed in me or think less of me simply because I am, for example, pro-life/pro-choice, support or oppose offshore drilling, or want to raise the Social Security retirement age versus encouraging partial privatization.

In fact, since my political views are different from those of most of my friends/colleagues, I feel that I can't talk about politics at all, and exactly because I'm afraid they would be disappointed or see me differently if they knew that I did not share all their opinions. And that, I think, is sad.

I think it's great that you're going to continue to visit your neighbor, and I agree that maybe it would be worthwhile to casually in conversation try to get at his reasons for his beliefs. Who knows, maybe you'll be more disappointed, but you might be surprised.

I think it's also fair to say that there are ignorant Republicans out there as well as ignorant Democrats - for every person like you who feels very strongly about your view, there is an equally thoughtful, rational, well-read, reasonable person who would respectfully disagree with you. Thanks for the interesting post.

Wow! I'm shocked you are getting such crap. But I can understand the reaction a little. Not much! But a little.

Reason being it is because I have thought OTHERS were crazy for 'banning' people who disagreed with my views.

Example;I was listening to a Pink song at work (Dear Mr President) and a co worker asked, who sings this? I said Pink. He asked how long it had been out, I replied a while. He said he would never listen to Pink again.

While I thought that was completely uncalled for, MUCH like the Dixie Chicks fiasco (who I also LOVE), their right to hate them is as important as my right to praise them!

Equal opportunity haters!!! ;)

holy fuck people... its torries blog if she wants to say she a freaking alien who loves to mutilate cows its her blog. im pretty sure her kid isnt going to grow up to be a sniper or racist or what have you. so if you dont like what she has to say, why even bother commenting? just delete it from your favorites and move on. get a life people

I'm trying to figure out if the irony in Alyssa's comment was intentional- that is, she found out something she didn't know about you and therefore "will never view (you) the same way", but more than that, she won't ever again "still stop by ... to say "hi"".

And GOD FORBID T expresses an opinion ON HER OWN BLOG! I mean, seriously, how many of you out there has never ever looked at a colleague or friend in a different way because they, oh, I dunno, support an opposing football team, never use a handkerchief, hate tea and never drink coffee, think Star Wars was lame but loved Pretty Woman, or something... Really? you never have? Well ring the vatican and get in early for your Beatification.

I certainly hope you DO bring up Willa to think about politics- she will make up her own mind as to which flavour of candidate she will vote for if she is exposed to varying opinions . And it seems many have missed the point that you said you will still stop by to say Hi- it's not like you're about to start burning effigies on his front lawn, or even tell your precious daughter "We don't talk to him, he's a republican" as some seem to have inferred.

Keep on having opinions and feelings, Torrie. The world's better off with people who are honest enough to share and defend them.

Oh, and "DrCMoore"- I may only have a degree from an Australian University, and, sure, there are still places on this earth I haven't travelled, but I work as a doctor in a country that HAS Universal health care, and, like democracy itself, it has its failings, but it's still the best system that currently exists.

I totally feel you. It seems like this happens to me ALL THE TIME these days. It's the worst when you're completely blindsided by it!

@Susie, sorry no blog for you to peruse. I hope that my comment wasn't viewed in a negative light. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.

I was understanding of Torrie's comment, and shared a similar example. And I mentioned something I had not done because of it. But not putting a political magnet on my car was really just me not wanting to make waves with my neighbors.

I do think and judge people in part based on their political leanings. It means we don't have much in common, values-wise. I would expect someone else to judge me for the same reasons. I will continue to treat them kindly and behave in a neighborly way. But I also now know that I would not invite them to a BBQ, assuming they would be uncomfortable with my vocally liberal friends. We talk politics a lot.

With the exception of the car magnet, I am otherwise not silent. Nor am I afraid to take a stand. I am one of those liberal elitists who believes that asking responsible questions is the most patriotic thing I can do. I speak up, and often. I have worn my 'Women for Obama' pin since Hilary (memorial sob) dropped out.

I can't wait to vote in November!

Wow. These comments are overwhelming and I'm sorry to see the tone of many of them. I'm not surprised, though.
Why is it that 'liberals' and Democrats are always accused of being intolerant and/or blind followers when many Republicans are exactly the same? Like you, I have been stunned to learn of some of my friends' opposing viewpoints. I guess, despite my best efforts, I take conservative votes personally. For instance -- McCain's health care proposal could be my family's financial ruin since we have such wonderful benefits and could not afford to pay taxes on this benefit or go out and buy our own insurance.
You've done a great job trying to moderate here, but as my friend from Texas always says, "don't swap spit with a donkey." All the best!

I absolutely adore you, but it's so silly to judge someone based on their political beliefs. It's personal preference and doesn't mean they're deceitful or a different person than you thought. Some people think Obama is detestable. Some think McCain is. There is no right or wrong here. It's subjective. I haven't scanned through the comments, but I'm sure a few of them aren't very nice. I don't mean to come across that way. But...it's such a trivial thing to take so seriously. Yes, it's the next four/eight years of government, but it's only 4-8 years and everything that's going on has gone on before and will continue to go on until man destroys himself and his environment.

You're a lovely lady. And we probably disagree politically. I'm not a fan of either candidate and would rather the whole damn white house fall into the ocean.

I was moved to comment because your post implies that being NICE and voting REPUBLICAN are generally incongruous in your mind. I find that sad and rather offensive. Most McCain/Palin supporters (my parents among them) are certainly nice, educated people...who just happen to care about different issues.

Your political beliefs might define YOU, but they shouldn't define everyone else. Otherwise, you are subscribing to the same negative partisanship that has become endemic in our political system. Chick is the same person he was before you saw the sign, so your statement that you will view him "differently" is a disappointing betrayal of your personal prejudices against the intelligence or characters of people who do not share your opinion.

Yeah I know, it's your blog and I'm reading it. Bloggers too often hide behind that premise as a way to reject receiving ANY sort of constructive criticism about their generated content. You are unequivocally entitled to hold your opinion. Your choice to post it in a public blog, by definition, means that you've opened yourself up to receiving criticism.

Your posts occasionally reflect what I feel is an extremely strident, narrow, rigid viewpoint. Thus, you are bound to have vocal opponents to certain posts. Attempting to rebut or put down every negative commenter is a waste of your talents and resources.

To clarify, I am a huge Obama fan and also very opposed to Sarah Palin. However, I actively avoid rendering moral judgments against those who like her. The tone of your post smacks of Palin's own comments that she is "tolerant" of homosexuality. You are only "tolerant" of Republicans. This is why you are generating hostility.

We're just going around in circles now.
It has tickled me and my friends how judgmental people are being about me being judgmental.
Also, a lot of assumptions have been made, and you know what they say about assumptions...

I could go on and on, but I won't because this post was never meant to be about politics. It was meant to convey how I felt for a MOMENT.

Bummer. I felt the same way when my dad told me his vote (for McCain) would be canceling out my vote (for Obama). I just don't understand it.

I'm really stunned by the nasty comments you got there. Why are people taking your post so personally? Next thing you know they'll be pointing at you and calling you "THAT ONE!!!"

I feel the same way. It's not to a point where I won't talk to a person, but it does make me wonder...

I'm adding you to my blogroll JUST because of this post. People need to chill. I think you handled this perfectly.

Just linked here from SuburbanTurmoil and I didn't read all the comments (although I bet a lot of people were pissed! lol). But-- I can sooooo understand your feeling. I get the same one every time I find out someone I like is a Republican. I'm semi-heartbroken. I almost don't want to know when I meet people because it just ruins them for me. Now... I have managed to have quite a few Republican friends. But most of them I knew their standing all along and we don't talk politics. What is most disapointing is when you THINK you know someone and it turns out you so. don't. Sorry :(

I'm glad you will still be nice to him. He sounds like a nice old man. I understand your feelings, as I also wonder how people can support the McCain/Palin ticket. Living where I do, though, I am very much in the minority. If I felt negatively against everyone here who is Republican I would be a very lonely person.

I don't get what's so 'intolerant' about saying that you judge someone by who they vote for.

I don't see Torrie saying that she's never going to talk to them or she's going to shun them and throw eggs at their house. I doubt that the sign is going to change how she interacts with them at all.

Being liberal doesn't mean that you are so open-minded that your brains fall out. There are core values that come with the word liberal including: a strong commitment to social justice, a belief that the government should make the lives of the less fortunate better, and patriotism involves more than wearing a flag pin.

Why shouldn't I judge people who don't share those values? It doesn't mean that I spit on them or never talk to them. But they're not going to end up being one of my BFF's either.