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Today we were in an amazing bakery with a fireplace, in a quaint little town.
Our bellies were full with tea and pastries.
Rhapsody in Blue started playing.
Willa was sitting on my lap and I whispered in her ear "this is mommy's favorite piece of music."
Then we twirled around and danced together.
There was a moment the other day-
I was standing in the kitchen watching the snow fall outside, peeling apples for a pie.
There was a warm cup of tea sitting next to the cutting board.
My daughter was sitting at my feet, playing, and quietly babbling.
I could hear one of my favorite songs playing from the other room.
I was not in pain.
No one was sick.
I wasn't worrying about money.
Everything was perfect.
For a moment.
The doctor thinks she has cold induced Urticaria. Which basically means she is allergic to the cold.
I am super thrilled about this considering that we live in the Northeast, and it's cold about 6 months out of the year.
So, basically, for 6 months out of the year she will be covered in horrible looking hives.
We can give her Zyrtec, but I'm only going to do that if the hives seem to be bothering her. I'm not going to give her medication if it's just for cosmetic purposes.
Also, she can have a pretty severe reaction, so the doctor wants me to carry Benadryl with us at all times.
Tomorrow, we are supposed to start a swim class at the Y. The doctor said that if the water isn't warm enough we may not be able to do it.
I'm trying not to be a drama queen about this. Some kids outgrow it. Some don't.
I'm sad though. Sad that Willa won't be able to play in the snow, or go skiing with her father.
Sad, that for six months out of the year, my kid won't be able to play outside.
Yesterday morning when I got Willa out of her crib I noticed that one of her hands looked mottled and like it had bug bites on it. I assumed it was spider bites.
She was acting fine and it didn't seem to be bothering her.
We had our first class at the Y shortly after breakfast. It was awesome and Willa had a great time. However, during the class I watched as what I had thought were bug bites, spread up her arms and then onto her face.
(this picture does not do it justice- it looked HORRIBLE)
My husband happened to meet us at the class (he was just getting home from work after working a 25 hour shift) and he decided to call the doctor. Our doctor wasn't in the office, so we spoke to his partner. he wanted us to bring Willa in.
We really love Willa's pediatrician, but he's in the city, so it's a major pain in the ass to see him.
So we took Willa to get something to eat, during which time her rash got even worse- her arms and face were covered in hives, and then I drove into the city with Willa and my husband sleeping in the car. When Willa woke up her rash was gone. We were right outside the pediatricians office, we had driven all the way in to the city, and now her rash was gone. So, we went in to the pediatricians office and told the receptionist that we wouldn't be needing the appointment. Then we walked around our old neighbor hood for a while.
It was cold yesterday, and when we had walked for a bit, we noticed that Willa's rash was starting to come back, But, we also noticed something else, whenever we went inside her rash got better.
So, the cold made it worse. WEIRD.
The doctor ended up calling us and he wasn't that worried about it because Willa didn't have a fever, and she didn't seem itchy.
Today, when Willa woke up she didn't have a spot on her.
Then we ran some errands. We were hardly outside- just walking from the car into stores, but her cheeks got a little splotchy. When we came back home her skin looked normal again- that is until we took Dexter for a walk this afternoon. As we walked, Willa's face broke out into hives. She looked like she had some horrible disease. When I brought her home and took off her coat I realized that the rash was on her arms again too.
We have no idea what's going on.
Is she allergic to the cold? Is it just a reaction to a bug bite that is exacerbated by the cold?
My husband is currently on the computer doing some research.
Tomorrow I'll talk to the pediatrician again.
It's never boring around here.
I am going insane I think.
Lack of sleep can do that to a person.
Between the cats howling or scratching all night, and Willa refusing to take a nap, I am just barely hanging on to my sanity.
I'm thinking of letting Willa spend the night at my mom's.
I've never spent a night apart from her before, but I think it's the only way I am going to get some rest.
Although, knowing me, I won't get any sleep if I'm separated from her.
I can't win.
Here's my question for you-
How old was your child the first time you spent a night apart from them?
Dear Willa,
Today is a new day.
Last night Barack Obama became the president elect.
I don't know if I can properly convey to you what this means to me.
Never have I been so invested in a political race.
Having you has made what happens in this country so important to me. As your mother it is my duty to fight for your rights.
I have tried very hard to educate myself. I have done a ton of reading. I hope you will learn from me, that knowledge equals power.
For the last eight years we have had a president who is an embarrassment. He has made terrible decisions and refuses to hold himself accountable. He has disregarded science. He has made choices based on who his friends are. He has let his personal beliefs interfere with government policies.
I'm sorry that he was the president when you were born.
When I was pregnant with you your father and I met Barack Obama. He was friendly and personable, and we had a lovely chat with him. I asked him to run for president so that we would have someone we would feel good voting for.
Even the rest of the world wants Obama to be President of the United States. Polls show that as many as 90% of the people in the rest of the world wanted him to win the election.
Barack Obama is an amazing man. He is intelligent. He unites people. He surrounds himself with good, smart people. He inspires people.
He is not perfect. He will make mistakes. We will not agree with all of his decisions. But, from what I've seen of him, I believe he will admit his mistakes, he will make decisions with the country's best interest at heart, and he will be calm and decisive.
He is exactly what this country needs.
For the past eight years I have not been proud to be an American. In fact, I have been embarrassed.
But, now things will be different.
I really, truly believe that Obama will lead this country in a new direction.
Last night history was made. Barack Obama became the first African-American president elect. Now, you might not understand the importance of that, because you are being raised in a household where people are not judged based on their skin color, but it is a major accomplishment for this country. I wish that it wasn't even an issue, but it is. However, Obama becoming president elect shows that this country is changing for the better. We are moving forward.
He was the right man for the job regardless of his skin color, but the fact that he's African-American is the cherry on top.
I only wish your grand father, and your great grandmother Winnie, who you were named after, were alive to see this. They would have been so happy. They always fought prejudice.
More people than ever voted. Please know that if the people lead, eventually the leaders will follow. We really can make a difference. I believe that now. Never stop fighting for what you beleive in. Never give up the fight. Amazing things can happen.
Today, when I woke up, the world felt different. I am filled with hope- which is a pretty amazing thing considering what a cynic I can be.
I see the light at the end of this long, dark, eight year tunnel.
I cry tears of joy when I think that you will grow up with this amazing man as president.
I am excited for your future.
Love,
Mama
