My daughter turned two, but I'm the one who learned the valuable lesson.
I wanted everything to be perfect, so I drove myself crazy.
I had to make all the food, most of which couldn't be made ahead.
I was embarrassed by my crappy backyard, so I decided to take on a major landscaping project the day before the party.
The weekend went as follows- On Friday, Willa's actual birthday, we went to the Bronx Zoo. It was Willa's first time.
It was fun, but physically exhausting.
On Saturday, we spent all day either working in the backyard, cooking, or cleaning up the house for the party. Then, on Saturday night we went to a friend's open house party. We only stayed for an hour, and then we came home and got back to work.
By the time the party started at 11am on Sunday I was exhausted and frazzled. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I made a ton of food (there were about 35 people at the party), less than half of which was eaten. We were hoping to have most of the party in the backyard, and we tried, but it was really cold. Everyone ended up cramming into our small apartment. As far as I could tell no one was judging us for our crappy place, and no one was blaming us for the cold weather, and yet I drove myself crazy about it.
I should have just been enjoying my daughter's party.
Part of the problem was that we couldn't afford to have it at one of those toddler gym places, or have it catered, but I very easily could have ordered a few pizzas instead of serving tea sandwiches.
My favorite moment of the weekend might have been Sunday night, when everyone had gone home, and just the three of us were having a quiet dinner together- Willa tried the little cake I made for her (that she wanted no part of during the actual party) and she said "It tastes good!"
Next year, when my husband is actually getting paid a real salary, I will pay people to do all the work, or I will rent out a place, and I will relax and enjoy my daughter's birthday.
Because I was so busy running around, I didn't take a ton of pictures (I didn't even get a picture of the cake!) but here are a few highlights:
Today, the California Supreme Court upheld the ban on same sex marriages.
It's days like today that I am disappointed in the human race.
Sexuality is not a choice. Why would someone choose to make their life more difficult, choose constant ridicule? Why would someone choose to have less rights, less freedom?
You are born gay. There's no question.
And I'm not sure how anyone who's ever had a child could argue otherwise.
My daughter is a girly-girl. She loves dresses, and bows, and party shoes, and dolls, and all things pink.
My husband and I never steered her towards that. If anything we tried to steer her away from that.
We dressed her in mostly gender neutral clothes. We bought her gender neutral toys and books.
But, SHE IS WHO SHE IS. We can teach her right from wrong. We can teach her manners, but we can't change who she is.
This is why I don't understand how the majority of people in California went to the polls on November 4th, and voted away the rights of an entire group of people who are just trying to be WHO THEY ARE.
They just want to be with the people they love, just like the rest of us.
And, I just don't see how two other people who are in love and get married would threaten my marriage.
And if you try to use the argument with me that your religion says that homosexuality is wrong, I ask you this- Do you really think that God believes in prejudice?
I am not looking forward to the day when my daughter asks me why our friends, her aunts and uncles, can't get married in the majority of states in this country.
I don't know what I'll tell her.
Willa is eating some apple-blueberry puree. It's a deep purple color.
When she has finished, she rips off her bib, places it on the table and says "all done!".
I have planned poorly. I do not have a paper towel at the table because I was engrossed in Danny's book.
Willa is wearing an off white shirt, and although for her age she has great spoon skills, there is still fruit all over her hands and face.
I race to the kitchen to get a paper towel and yell "Don't touch your shirt!"
5 seconds later I return with a paper towel in hand and Willa's shirt is covered in purple smudges.
I think next time I'm going to say "Please wipe your food all over your shirt!", and I guarantee she won't touch it.
You blow me away.
I love you more than I could ever tell you.
*You can see all of the pictures of Willa's first two years here.
My kid has been up since 5am, and she is currently refusing to nap.
She was cranky and whiny ALL MORNING. I know she's tired, but still, she won't nap. Which means this afternoon is going to be TONS of fun.
Willa normally wakes up around 7am, but for the past 9 or 10 days the latest she has woken up is 6:30.
I'm REALLY hoping it's because she is teething, and then when her teeth break through she will go back to her old schedule.
Most of the things you can do with kids- museums, libraries, the mall- don't open until 10am, so I've been struggling to keep her occupied in the morning.
This could not be happening at a worse time. I've got a billionty things going on.
Today I have to make and drop of dinner for a family of 5. (One of the moms in my playgroup just had a baby.)
Tomorrow, my mom is coming to stay, and I have to attend a dinner.
Thursday, the husband is working over night. (Which means he'll leave for work at 6am on Thursday and not be home until about 10am on Friday.)
Friday is Willa's birthday- we're taking her to the Bronx Zoo.
Saturday, we're taking Willa to a carnival during the day, and going to a party at night.
And Sunday is Willa's birthday party. We are expecting 35-40 people.
I have to get the decorations and the favors, and clean the house, and make the cake, and cook all the food, and, and , and- EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO BREATHE INTO A PAPER BAG.
I have no idea how I'm going to get everything done- especially with a cranky, clingy kid who won't nap.
My husband just got the following email:
Congratulations! You have been selected for a follow-up appointment at an upcoming Jeopardy! contestant search for the New York City area, exclusively for those who successfully passed the online test. This is the next step in becoming a Jeopardy! contestant.
You have no idea how exciting this is for me. I grew up watching Jeopardy.
And now I am going to go run around the block 40 times to burn off all of this excited energy!
I'm never going to sleep! I'm going to clean the whole house! I can see through time!
Why don't you watch this while I bounce off the walls:
So, yeah, sorry about the whole dropping off the face of the earth thing.
I needed a break from the internet. It was feeling like a chore, and if there's one thing I don't need more of it's chores.
I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted out of my on-line life. I was thinking that I was too busy to blog, but then I decided that I do almost NOTHING for myself, and blogging has helped me meet so many amazing people and given me so much support during tough times, so blogging stays. Also, being able to complain and rant on my blog helps me complain and rant less in "real" life, which is great for my "real" life friends, but sucks for you guys.
Once I decided I wanted to keep blogging I then had to figure out what I wanted to do with my blog. Oh internet, the hours I wasted thinking about this. And then it finally dawned on me- my blog can be whatever the hell I want it to be- isn't that the beauty of blogging? It's like a weight was lifted. I'm really not concerned about how much traffic I get, or "marketing" myself. It's very freeing. I just want to blog to vent, and chronicle my life, and connect with people.
So, some days I might just post a picture, or a sentence. I'm also going to try some new stuff like video blogging and posting recipes.
I'm also going to redesign/relaunch the blog. I'd love some feedback from you guys. Things you like/dislike on blogs, what layouts you like, etc. (For instance- I can't stand when you go to someone's blog and music starts playing. It's fine to give me the option, but don't force it on me.)
In other news- Willa is talking up a storm. Seriously. The funny thing is, I thought she was a little behind in speech a few months back. I never doubted her intelligence, but I was an early talker and so was my husband so I just assumed Willa would follow suit. She was just saying somewhere between 5-10 words, and then between month 18 and 19 she started saying new words every day. By the end of the month she had over 40 words. And now here we are 11 days before her second birthday and she has started talking in sentences. I can't keep up. The growing up is happening way too quickly. She pretty much has entire conversations with us- like a couple of weeks ago she told us that the snake in the pet store scared her.
It's really unbelievable that my kid can now communicate with me.
This morning she said "Mowy (that's the nickname for our cat Itsy) went upstairs and said bye bye."
And my husband and I just stood there with our mouths hanging open, and I was like "Weren't you just born yesterday??? GET BACK IN MY UTERUS."