It's not a choice
Today, the California Supreme Court upheld the ban on same sex marriages.
It's days like today that I am disappointed in the human race.
Sexuality is not a choice. Why would someone choose to make their life more difficult, choose constant ridicule? Why would someone choose to have less rights, less freedom?
You are born gay. There's no question.
And I'm not sure how anyone who's ever had a child could argue otherwise.
My daughter is a girly-girl. She loves dresses, and bows, and party shoes, and dolls, and all things pink.
My husband and I never steered her towards that. If anything we tried to steer her away from that.
We dressed her in mostly gender neutral clothes. We bought her gender neutral toys and books.
But, SHE IS WHO SHE IS. We can teach her right from wrong. We can teach her manners, but we can't change who she is.
This is why I don't understand how the majority of people in California went to the polls on November 4th, and voted away the rights of an entire group of people who are just trying to be WHO THEY ARE.
They just want to be with the people they love, just like the rest of us.
And, I just don't see how two other people who are in love and get married would threaten my marriage.
And if you try to use the argument with me that your religion says that homosexuality is wrong, I ask you this- Do you really think that God believes in prejudice?
I am not looking forward to the day when my daughter asks me why our friends, her aunts and uncles, can't get married in the majority of states in this country.
I don't know what I'll tell her.
Update- Read these:
You can't see her
How you sound
Comments
We can only hope that by the time your daughter is able to articulate that question, it won't need to be asked.
Discrimination against love is criminal.
Posted by: kathleen | May 26, 2009 02:56 PM
That homosexuality is a choice or the result of childhood trauma or is an urge that must be fought (like the urge to cheat on tests or drink until you throw up) is a core argument for those who believe it is perfectly reasonable to deny same-sex marriage. "They CAN get married," they say, "just to someone of the opposite sex. It's not our fault they don't choose to do so."
And that sound? That's the sound of me barfing.
Posted by: Brian | May 26, 2009 07:33 PM
Sad to say, there are an awful lot of stooooooooopid people in this country.
It's the people who use their religion as an excuse to hate and discriminate that have made me despise organized religion. If there really is someone keeping track of all this somewhere, I'm thinking the religious fundamentalists/fanatics are not scoring well at all.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | May 26, 2009 08:11 PM
I'm with Kathleen. Hopefully, you will never have to explain it to her.
I find it so frustrating to hear things like, "before we legalize gay marriage, we have to make sure the STRONGEST protections are in place to protect RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS' rights." You know, so that we can make sure not to infringe on their constitutionally protected right to discriminate. Meanwhile, we'll continue to discriminate against this WHOLE group of people who just want to live their lives. Grr.
Posted by: Ern | May 26, 2009 08:55 PM
I agree. It's a civil rights issue, plain and simple.
Posted by: Farrell | May 29, 2009 07:17 AM
What a sad decision for such a huge State. Homo-sexuality is not a choice, I met my first gay friend when I was 5 years old, he was 6 and quite frankly, there wasn't a word for it, but an understanding- he liked his Mom's shoes and preferred to play with us girls on the street. It was only when we were older that we could "label" him and understand completely. I feel that people that don't agree with gay marriage should put themselves in THIS POSITION... What if you were told that YOU HAD TO MARRY ANOTHER FEMALE (or male if that is you gender) despite your preference for the opposite sex. What if an entire society told you that despite your feelings, you had to kiss, sleep with and be with your same gender? Would they still think it was a choice? Why is it ok to deny someone the same rights because of their sexual preference? But frankly, by the time my children are adults, a new wave of choices and freedoms will shine through- and if it takes another 10 or even 20 years in California- it's inevitable!
Posted by: Carrie | May 29, 2009 08:17 AM
It's religion. Organized or not, religion has been at the root of almost all strife in this world since the beginning of humans -- war, oppression, murder -- and, it still continues, today. The "religious right," aided by the American Family Association, is a powerful, politically-coercive force in this country. They are bent on forcing everyone to heed their religious beliefs -- all the way down to defining what "marriage" is. Their influence (or coercion) is wrong -- plain and simple. And, it has no place in a supposedly-advanced culture like the US.
I'm not gay, but I will fight for someone else's right to be gay.
Posted by: D Russell | June 7, 2009 10:46 PM
I'm just mad that polygamy and bestiality are still illegal. Why can't I marry my cat??
Posted by: George | October 31, 2009 04:18 PM