Money, it's a drag
I've worried about money for almost my entire life.
In August, my husband will be starting a new job. His training will be over and he will finally be making a substantial salary. This is what he has been working toward his whole adult life, and I've been along for the ride for almost 12 years. We've made a ton of sacrifices to get here.
But, it's not at all how I imagined it.
I thought once the money started rolling in that we would never have to worry about money again.
Boy, am I a gullible idiot.
It turns out that now that we'll have money we'll have to use it to pay off student loans and credit card debt. We desperately need a new car (the car my husband drives to work is a '99 and we keep pouring more money into it than it's worth. The car I'm driving is actually my mother-in-law's car that she loaned us when Willa was born, and we still haven't given in back to her.), we need to save for a down payment for a house or apartment (because apparently they won't let you buy a place without a down payment). We need to buy some new clothes- my husband and I are still wearing T-shirts from high school- no joke. We need to start saving for retirement and college. We need to hire someone to watch Willa occasionally, so I can maybe focus more on my photography, and also not go insane.
We're not going to run out and buy a bunch of new stuff all at once- my point is that we've been putting a lot of things off for a lot of years.
I'm a grown, educated woman, How did I not realize all of this?
We honestly don't know how to have "real" money. I guess we need to hire a financial planner? This is all so "adult", and it makes me feel like a child.
Believe me, I'm not complaining about the prospect of having money. I know that we are very lucky, especially in this economy, that my husband even has a job. I just wish I could talk to 18 year old me, or hell, even 28 year old me, and tell her to stop living for the future. That money doesn't buy happiness. That with money comes new stresses and responsibilities. That just because we'll have money doesn't mean we'll stop worrying about money.
Also, why can't I just enjoy this? Why must I always find the negative?
I really dislike that part of me.
Comments
It is the exact same with me.
Recently I tried to make peace with the idea that I will never ever have more than only a little money. Sometimes it works.
Somebody explained to me that it literally impossible for my generation in german society to have the kind of money our parents had (or more likely the innocent idea of it). We have to pay for our student loans and for the care of our elderly parents – so good bye, prosperity.
But here in Berlin it is easier without money, bc everybody is broke, many highly educated people. That makes it easier to joke about it. So cheers from over the ocean...
b
Posted by: bee | June 23, 2009 08:50 AM
I've always been stupid with money. I'm better now, since I have no other choice, but if the big bucks came rollin' in again, I'm sure I'd go right back to stupid. :)
It's the way of my people.
Posted by: Bucky Four-Eyes | June 23, 2009 09:17 AM
ditto. sometimes it can be really overwhelming to think about how much more needs to happen for us before we are on top of things, let alone getting ahead.
Posted by: staci | June 23, 2009 09:26 AM
Hope you don't mind me piping in...but I think your attitude is healthy.
First - congratulations! You both worked hard and deserve this!
The best part about finally having money is that now you can actually follow the old advice to "live beneath your means" - impossible to do if you don't have money, but the secret to happiness once you do.
I wouldn't worry about hiring a financial planner just now...I'd focus on on using the student loan grace period to make a dent on credit cards, and setting up a realistic budget - one that gets you in the habit of saving, even a little every month.
Trust me, nothing feels better than cash in the bank. You guys need to build that up, a little at a time does it.
You're right, though, there's never enough money, and soon you will see that your perceived "must haves" keep getting more and more expensive. Just be sure to spoil yourselves where it counts (it's different for everybody) and keep things in perspective.
Oh, and my husband works in private equity and drives a '99 Mazda. :)
Posted by: Miguelina | June 23, 2009 10:01 AM
If you're a worrier, you're a worrier, no matter how much money you have. That's how I feel about how I am, too. But if you've survived this long NOT having any money, you'll survive with it.
Posted by: erica | June 23, 2009 10:05 AM
Money is the root of all. No matter how much you have, you always need/want more. Unless you're a millionaire, but even they go bankrupt.
Posted by: Crystal | June 23, 2009 03:44 PM
I agree with you about the money thing - I'm always stressing about money -and now, recently laid off? I'm stressing even more! I'd give ANYTHING to have even 1/2 of my former salary back (I'd be living LARGE if I did) yet why when I was making that salary, was I always worrying about money? I don't know if money is the root of all evil - but it sure can make people crazy.
My advice? Sit down a make a budget - if you don't know how to do it - find someone who does and ask them for help. You'd be surprised how easy it is to save some money - and especially now, with the economy the way it is - it is even more crucial to have that "rainy day" fund.
Good luck and Congrats on the job!!
Posted by: Shopgirl | June 23, 2009 04:19 PM
I worry about everything. Especially money. Exacerbated by my being unemployed for a little over a year. Um, yeah. It's been a little rough around here.
I have found that the best extinguisher for my anxiety is knowledge. Knowing what is coming in and what is going out and when we'll be done paying X so we can pay more on Y... those kinds of things help immensely.
A financial planner can help you set up long and short term goals and give you the tools to manage it all on your own. Empowerment = more sleep (for me).
And my sincere congratulations to you both. Yay for new jobs!
Posted by: Alyce | June 23, 2009 08:07 PM
Husband and I have been married for 8.5 years, have twins 4.5 year-olds and have been in debt since before we met. We are getting it together and will debt-free for our 10th anniversary and should have the house paid for by the time the girls graduate from high school. This is what helped us:
www.mytotalmoneymakeover.com
Take a deep breath. Know that there is hope. Have a plan and live by it. You'll be ok. I promise.
Posted by: Elana E | June 24, 2009 10:07 AM
So, would you relocate to a lower cost of living area in order to be able to save for a house? If your husband found a position where they would forgive his med school loans for him, would you want to relocate for that? (This happened to someone I know.)
A cynical person would say that we hope Obama lets you and your husband keep 40 cents of what you earn, but we won't go there just yet . . . ;)
Posted by: Ron | June 24, 2009 06:40 PM
I worried about money when I didn't have a dime, I worry about money when I have it.
I used to say as soon as I have a float of one thousand I will stop worrying...then two, then three and it carried on from there. I think if you are going to worry- you will worry about whatever amounts of money you have. But at the same time, if you worry, than you will be careful....and sure you will pay off loans and buy what you need- and so what if you are "just getting by" or "just doing okay" for a few years. I think sometimes society is all hung up on how much you have....
And just as an after thought- Photography is a great business and you are fantastic at it...that may be the extra moola you are looking for! (but I bet you will still even worry about that income as well (-;)
Posted by: Verybusylady | July 2, 2009 04:40 PM