Not someone who normally comments here, but you brought me out of the woodwork with this one! I don't have kids - yet- but the husband and I talk a lot about how we are going to do things when we do have them. I too am a vegetarian. My husband is not, but 99% of his food is vegetarian, and when he does it meat, he is lucky enough to have a butcher near us (that comes recommended from a friend who is a former vegetarian).

Like you are doing with Willa, my parents (mother is a dietician!) never restricted foods, but encouraged me to eat vegetables and fruit. Maybe I am lucky, but I don't have any taste for sweets or fatty/salty foods. The key was the not restricting. Obviously, there are exceptions, but a lot of research has been done that says that parents who use negative restriction of unhealthy foods - rather than positive promotion of healthy foods - contribute to children's disordered eating.

Anyway, I do disagree with a lot of MeMe Roth's tactics, but the overall message of healthy eating is spot on. I am currently working on my Masters in Public Health, and my research revolves around how the environment contributes to childhood obesity - I am primarily looking at schools. When I have kids, I hope to follow a similar line that you guys are.
(Oh, and that Twinkie line? Horrible. Seriously.)

As you know, I was... taken aback by the article. :)

I should say, though, that I don't disagree with her basic points, re: the obesity epidemic. It's the execution of her ideas as well as her general batshit craziness that bothers me... I did a little research on her after the fact (seriously, I was obsessed Torrie!), and found that in one interview, she equates eating with sexual assault. That is Not Okay. Furthermore, she admits in the same interview that she doesn't really ever eat breakfast or lunch. She has food issues, in my mind.

I would NEVER call you preachy with regard to your vegetarianism, and it's clear that you are thoughtful and realistic about your (and Willa's) diet. As you said, you're trying to do what's best for your kid, and really, who could take issue with that? :)

xoxo
I guess my point is that while

Let me start by saying I don't have kids, and while I enjoy reading your blog and seeing your beautiful daughter, I have no desire to ever have kids of my own. I also have a hereditary medical condition that I would never want to pass along.

My comment is a concern for getting enough protein WITHOUT the use of Soy.

For years and years we fought to have MSG taken out of our foods, most particularly, baby foods. Soy is what MSG comes from, yet that is what mainstream media has now taught us (brainwashed us)is "good for us"? Um, yeah, no.

Especially for people who suffer from Migraines. Soy is the #1 enemy. Soy can bring on a 3 day migraine with just a drop/bite/morsel. Soy sauce, edamame, tofu, soy milk... all of it.

I have the double whammy, not only am I a migraine sufferer, I also have Chiari which causes an entirely different type of headaches that make migraines feel like child's play. I am having brain surgery in December.

I wish I cared about a healthy diet. I'm 80 pounds overweight and am not allowed to exercise do to my brain condition. Chocolate and Caffeine are the only things that get me thru a some days with the horrible pain I live with daily.

I applaud you for wanting more for your daughter and for the healthy lifestyle she is growing up with. But since she already has a chronic medical condition... I would hate to see that exacerbated by the use of soy in order to provide protein when there are "healthy" meats.

Please do not take this as an attack, I was just commenting and I hope this comment is taken in my desire to abide by blog-sandbox rules.

I think you're going about it exactly the right way with Willa (not making junk food FORBIDDEN and therefore fascinating), and I think as a result of that, she will just have healthier eating habits that will continue for the rest of her life.
Like you, I've always been a picky eater, and my parents never made me try new stuff, and always kept lots of junk food in the house. I've learned to love a lot of different kinds of food in the meantime, but my eating habits are still horrendous!

Actually, Cap'n Crunch and bagels sound awfully good right about now. ;)

I do strive to feed my baby healthily. We belong to a food co-op, eat a lot of organic or local vegetables, and generally use meat as more of a garnish or a treat. So I sympathize, and also agree that parenting is fraught with judgments and defensiveness.

However, MeMe Roth has said that putting on weight after marriage is a violation of vows, and leads a "Wedding Dress Challenge" rally, where you're supposed to demonstrate you haven't gained any. To my mind, she is not an advocate of health.

the next time you are explaining someone about being a vegetarian. also add this fact:
world's second populated country India has population of 1.148 billion(as of 2008) and close to 50% of this population is vegetarian. they seem to be doing fine and still growing.

i think many people are just ignorant and they don't accept anything that is different from what they follow.....close minded people!

Metalia, I couldn't like you more :)

Aimee, Soy isn't Willa's primary source of protein. She has a small amount of soy milk, and occasionally eats edammame. She rarely eats tofu. Her protein comes from fruit, vegetables, whole grains, yogurt and nuts.
While I do agree that too much soy is no good, I think it is fine, if not beneficial in small quantities- after all- The people in Asia eat a ton of soy and their disease rate is MUCH lower than ours.
It's certainly much better for you than cows milk.

Ash, I definitely think she is a troubled woman. I don't agree with her tactics, but I do agree with her passion to keep her kids healthy.

Floridagal, I use that all the time! I also tell people- breast milk, the perfect food, is only 5% protein. And whenever anyone starts talking about getting enough protein, I ask them if they've ever met anyone with a protein deficiency.

I completely agree with every single word you have said and am in the same position.

The only unfortunate thing though is that there were only 2 daycares with spots available and neither one of them was fabulous on the food.

Bobby has only been 4 times so far but he's refused to eat most of what they've served him at the age of 11 months.

They've agreed not to serve him any meat but they aren't making alternative meals for him so he sometimes just has extras of the side dished.

Today I plan on talking to them about me sending food along.

Thank you SO MUCH for writing this. My daughter is only 9months old and I love that she's pretty much a clean slate. She's only ever had organic foods. Fruits, veggies, cereal, and bread. She's never had a french fry or beef and I plan to keep it that way for as long as I can.

Only when I had a kid did I realize how important eating organic, healthy food really is. I couldn't agree with you more about the uneducated people (who also claim to know everything about everything and really know nothing about nothing) who judge.

I plan to let my daughter try things too. Especially things she won't see every day - like a sno-cone or cotton candy. It'll really make it a treat for her instead of a constant like sugary cereals and processed foods can be.

I think it's fantastic that you're writing about your decisions and being so honest about why you do it. One day Willa will be grateful for this foundation you've given her.

What a refreshing post! I am turning 29 this year and feeling the pressure from my parents to start having children. I have been vegetarian for almost 3 years now and my fiance is a full-fledged carnivore. Although with my influence he is more conscious of what he eats and does get upset at our society for thinking "healthy" is strange. I applaud you for your courage to stand up for your daughter. Thanks for sharing.

Torrie, I can tell you that what you're doing works. That's how I was raised (albeit not vegetarian), and my relationship with food is very positive. My sister and I both tend to crave healthy whole foods rather than junk. Neither one of us struggles with weight or eating healthy.

We were always encouraged to try things, and my mom was always trying new recipes and foods. Nothing was out of bounds. I could have a cookie, but it was balanced with an apple. Mom bought star fruit because I saw it in the store and expressed an interest. Food was to be tasted and explored. And my favorite snacks growing up were things like carrots, apples or banana with peanut butter. We were never told "no" to things, yet also never forced to clean our plates or eat something we didn't like. It works.

Don't get me wrong, I do crave junk food periodically (mmm...Oreos), but it's certainly a very very tiny percentage of my diet.

So good on ya. Feed your kid healthy foods, encourage exploration of new and different foods, don't force things on her, and Willa will grow up with a positive relationship with food and healthy eating.

And MeMe Roth? She sounds like she's got a few issues herself.

Good for you - I love that your daughter would rather eat melon then a cupcake. You're doing something right! I am expecting my first any day and want to encourage healthy eating habits. Can you tell me what you fed Willa as a baby once she could eat solids? Did you make your own food or did you buy organic baby food?

I sympathize with you 100% Torrie! We are a vegan family with a 14 month old daughter and we get the same exact comments. So frustrating!

Just wanted to note though to one of the other commenters, and I think Michael Pollan talks about this in his book, In Defense of Food, that it's not soy per se that gives people issues. It's actually "soy by-products" that are the real problem. When soy is over processed, as in soy "fillers" not soymilk or tofu, that's when it's natural hormones go awry and can be unhealthy. That's what gives soy a bad rap sometimes. There's lots of info out there on this that can explain it a whole lot better than I can. It's interesting stuff. It's goes to show once again that a whole food diet (whether veg or not, although I prefer veg!)is the healthiest diet.

On that note, I enjoy your blog! Your daughter is beautiful! You are very lucky!

I don't feed my kids the healthiest diet, or myself either. I appreciate your insightful words on the subject, and yes, it does cause me to more deeply examine the choices I may make. And for that, I thank you.

I think your approach to feeding Willa is pretty brilliant, and coming from someone with a childhood filled with not the healthiest of food, I can honestly say I wish I was given healthier food alternatives at a younger age.

I have a couple of thoughts on this, but forgive me for not being able to connect them:
-- I felt the same way about our/my decision to breastfeed for as long as I did (14 months, not even considered long enough by some organizations) ... I got the "she's being a hippie" vibe from a lot of people.
-- apparently I'm also a hippie because we made all of our own baby food. We just thought it was easier to boil something, blend it, freeze it. We knew what was in it, we could add spices/herbs as he got older ... seems kinda silly NOT to?
-- my friend was at her niece's b.day party a while ago and her sister-in-law was complaining that all the pizza place had to drink was pop. She scoffed, "I didn't want her drinking that crap, so I picked up some juice for them" all proud of herself for her healthy alternative (to accompany the PIZZA party for the 4-year old, but that's another thing) ... she picked up KOOL-AID. She considered that juice. Gah. When we give Owen juice, it's %100 fruit and veg blend (no sugar) that we STILL water down!
-- I think you and I think a lot alike about this ... although we are not vegetarians (a choice I would never fault you for, because it doesn't affect me. Like someone's being attracted to a member of the same sex - wouldn't the world be great if everyone just minded their own business? Sorry, back on track we go...), we are pretty picky about what he eats. We were on a trial few days with a babysitter who boasted "healthy snacks". The first time we picked him up, he was finishing his healthy snack: a chocolate cupcake. Hey lady, know what else is healthy? A BANANA. He's tried sweets, like on his birthday, and he had a bit of ice cream after a family dinner, but he always asks for more fruit.
-- re: "I ate it and I was fine" ... yes, but you probably didn't use a carseat, wear a bike helmet, and your parents probably smoked in the car!
-- you're awesome. Keep doing what you're doing ... if anything, it makes me feel better about how we're doing with Owen!

This is such a great post as it really shows that people have lost track of what goes into their bodies and that choosing to feed your child healthy unprocessed foods (be it a vegetarian, vegan or meat diet) is hardly an extreme point of view. Everybody has their priorities and mine is keeping food simple and nutritious. For instance my bro and SIL are fat-phobes (don't put oil or butter etc. on anything) but still consume artificial sweeteners. I prefer to eat healthy fats and avoid the fake stuff. I've been a vegetarian for 20 years but have had a horrible diet for much of that time so avoiding meat doesn't necessarily mean your diet is better. I've recently been diagnosed with extensive food allergies which makes pretty much any processed food out of the question and that also means highly processed soy products; something I ate a lot of in the past. As a kid I ate pretty much everything out there and it was probably high fat and all that. However, it was mostly made from scratch and not filled with a lot of unknown stuff. There were always cookies in the jar but they were homemade. There was always fresh juice and milk in the fridge but no pop (Canadian for soda) or sugary stuff. To me, being vegetarian/vegan as well as organic is just icing on the cake of a great diet but not, unto themselves, the whole picture. Eating whole and unprocessed foods is, in my opinion, a much healthier choice.

Saying all that I am also about 40lbs overweight and survived a serious cancer diagnosis in my mid 30s so maybe I am not the best example. I am not the healthiest person on the planet (loathe exercising) but I sure am more conscious about what I put in my body these days. Folks just have to do the best they can.

So I am so glad to hear that you are taking a very strong interest in instilling good eating habits in your child. That is what responsible parenting is all about.

I applaud what you're doing for Willa. Nothing that you've said here sounds unreasonable or extremist in any way. I only wish I had had the foresight, the knowledge and the discipline to mold my daughter's eating habits at such an early age. I always emphasized fruits and veggies, but I also included the packaged stuff that I grew up on (not to disparage my Mom, who cooked everything from scratch; it's just that Kraft mac n cheese, spaghettios, etc., were "in" back then). My daughter is 13 now, and her eating habits are not what I'd like them to be. (Nor are mine!) It's much easier to start off down the right path than to try to correct later on. And smarter, too.

I read the article you linked. I don't see you in the same category as that woman. Both she and the school district are behaving ridiculously, in my opinion. That's not about food or health; it's about power/control/psychopathology, from where I sit.

Ban Girl Scout cookies? My daughter sells them (although she doesn't eat them very much at all). At no time do the Girl Scouts of America recommend that anyone eat a steady diet of cookies. Or even one at every meal. Indeed, we make a big point of the fact that they freeze well, so you can take out one or two at a time, for an occasional treat with your cup of tea. Moderation; it's still a pretty good idea.

I am not a vegetarian but I feed my son a very healthy diet. When he was 7 months old, we were at my mother's house and he reached for a plate of cupcakes that was sitting on the table--not b/c he knew what a cupcake was or wanted it, just b/c babies grab stuff--and I moved the plate out of his reach. I was ridiculed for months. The whole family talked about how uptight and ridiculous I was, and they all tried to sneak him junk food behind my back. Why? To prove a point? What is the point? That because they raised their kids on hot dogs and mac and cheese, I should too? I'm with you--I don't get it. I guess it has more to do with what they perceive as their own failures as parents.

I totally support the way you're teaching Willa to eat. I grew up in that same environment (ok, not the same. Our house was sugar-free, fat-free, cholesterol free, low sodium, kosher and vegetarian. I still eat healthy but I left that extreme when I went to college!). I hope she sticks with it! I love when I see kids (or anyone for that matter) choosing fruit over ice cream. My niece only eats ice cream and chicken McNuggets, it makes me cringe that her mother lets that happen.

In terms of the article: I understand she's a member of an obesity group, but the school is doing its part. Now it is her turn to take responsibility for her children and what they eat. If other kids are eating junk food or getting cupcakes on special occasions, that's up to those kids and their parents, not her.

The way she's dealing with bureaucracy...I don't know. I want to commend her her for doing what she believes, but with the public education system in the disarray it is in, she really needs to let them focus on educating instead of this.

As for her outburst, completely unforgivable. I can't support is a woman being that extreme. I'm against wearing fur, but I'm not going to go throw paint on someone's coat. I refuse to force my opinions down other people's throats, which this woman did.

The article nicely sums up my feelings with someone else's quote. "“She has some valid points, but the way she delivers them is abrasive.” This. Abusing teachers, annoying faculty, insulting establishments like the Girl Scouts...educate people. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar as they say. The more outbursts she has, the less likely anything will get accomplished.

Good work! I am also raising my daughter vegetarian, with organic foods. I just wanted to say good job, and I believe if you're doing what you think is right for you kid/family then you're doing the right thing!

I was a vegetarian for about two years but gave it up when I realized I wasn't taking the necessary steps to get everything I needed. I was very low on protein and was too lazy to come up with new recipes. I still eat VERY healthy and my fiance and I have had many discussions on how we want to raise our kids. I want them to eat healthy! I want them to love vegetables and being active. It sounds like you are very careful to make sure Willa is healthy and happy. I greatly respect that. There is nothing worse than seeing an obese child who is pigging out on fast food. Parents have to help children develop good eating habits!!!

I love your blog, so this isn't meant to insult. But I think that calling people who ask about where you get your source of protein is neither ignorant or annoying (well I guess it's the tone they use that can be annoying) I just recently stopped eating all meat except for fish, and I can't figure out how to get protein in my diet the way I used to. So I always ask full on vegetarians how they do it...especially since I can't eat soy products. I'm just curious. Aside from dairy and beans, which I also have a hard time with I really DON'T know how to get 60/70 grams of protein in a day.

Also I think people really just want to know. If people don't feel invited to ASK and are met with annoyance and an attitude of ignorance, then they'll never ask. I have had so many vegetarians reply to that with sarcasm and attitude, like I'm just stupid, and it was my friends and co-workers who explained it so kindly that made me want to quit mean.

Just a thought

I recently had a parent accuse me of child abuse because I let my daughter eat a piece of cake.

She is a hair short of 5 and not even close to being overweight. But that is a side point.

I don't have any problem with people choosing to be vegans or vegetarians etc. As long as you don't force it upon me, I don't care.

I don't force my steak on you and we all get along.

But this woman came very close to meeting the bottom side of my shoe.

Some people just lose their minds and their sense of balance. Moderation has its role.

Hi Torrie,

It's nice to have you writing a bit more regularly again.

I don't have children by choice. My best friend has a brilliant, lovable 6 yr old boy we dote on, but she feeds him terribly. She doesn't cook and is very picky and obese and hasn't attempted to instill improved eating habits on him. I try to help her as much as possible and will seek your article and the nytimes article and see what I can achieve on his behalf. Thanks!

One thing that I've very much taken to heart now that I'm pregnant is that what I feed myself is what I'm feeding my baby. AND conditioning his/her taste buds for the rest of their life. I eat way less junk food, although I will never cut it out completely (oh the 7th level of hell). I commend those who are committed to eating healthy, whether veg or just better than processed.

I am form India ,my Voice awareness centre work to adoption my concept , the organic foods in daily diet ,and scipts of veda of Indian book like yajurved written 320-B.C.and it is followed by Indian farmers.The results r astonishing ,So to get our organic products /grow there by said concept ,will lead u and ur family toward healthy and sound mind by adoption,I am sure the people of ancient time where utilizing 100 % brain for the welfare of mankind& earth, because of organic concept.

I am not saying this will happen to Willa or anyone other child, but I see My child's palate changed a lot when she passed two years old and was able to say NO and refuse things, on whatever principle or condition toddlers and preschoolers do it. My kid who once loved mango, hates it, my child who once loved garbanzo beans, refuses them, a lot of kids do become picky eaters and I KNOW it is not something I did. What I really want to point out that even the best intentions of eating clean, vegetarian, organic, refined carb free, whatever, can become really freakin' hard when your child decides (Again I DON'T KNOW WHY) that last week asparagus was awesome, this week, disgusting. It happens to the best of us as parents and the best of kids.

My child is picky, her selective choices right now have on occasion made me cry, out of frustration, inability to understand her refusals, worry about getting enough fibre, protein, vitamins and even calories. It is hard, and OFFERING good choices and variety is just simply not always enough. I am hoping like hell this is a phase, like most kids who are picky, because I do believe what you put in your body is serious business.

xo

A little late to the game, but...

What you and your family eat (and have access to both physically and financially) is none of my business. I support your decision to eat what you want when you want in the quantity you want.

I only ask that you do the same for me.

Neither of us is a better person nor a lesser person for our food choices.

Aimee-
I'm a migraine sufferer too, and soy isn't the #1 enemy for every migraine sufferer. In fact chocolate and caffeine "the only things that get [you] thru a some days" are migraine triggers for some people.

Even though I often (perhaps too often) like to tease you about eating meat, I truly and deeply respect your belief and dedication. The hard way is usually hard for a reason: It's better.

One day when I finally abduct Willa, I will try to raise her vegetarian.

This is pretty enlightening...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/health/16well.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=mcdonalds&st=cse

I had to sort of chuckle when I read your last 2 or 3 posts. You and your family are into organic food yet you are worried about money? Have you CHECKED at how much more organic food costs?? I'm not sure I get it. You are struggling with money partly because the food you buy costs AT LEAST 3 times what 85 percent of people buy! However - as long as you're not on food stamps - it matters not one iota to me. Just interesting, that's all.

Sally -- spending money is always about priorities. We all prioritize having a roof over our head over a nice new purse 9 days out of 10. Organic foods, while they cost more, are so much better for our bodies than mass-produced foods and factory meats. We still don't know all of the longterm effects of pesticides on the human body, but we do know that cheaply produced meat, dairy products and produce can cause disease (ecoli, mad cow, etc.), not to mention evil effects for farm animals and the environment. I commend Torrie for buying organic - it's globally responsible, not just more healthy.

Very inspiring. I like the idea of trying to feed children healthy especially when they are young so they develop the taste for them. Everyones draws there line in a different place but she'll be better of in the end!