When I was 6 months preggo, I bit the bullet and hired a cleaning lady to come 2 times a month. It was hands down one of the best decisions I have ever made.... For the cost of 2 really nice dinners out - my house is clean and I have taken back those 5+ hours a month that I would have spent cleaning, and now am able to spend more time with my Elliette.... Don't even for a second consider having a cleaning lady a privilege - I consider Marylin a part of our family now - and she depends on me as much as I depend on her. She cleans houses for a living - you raise a baby. No one is better than the other for choosing to do what they do. It's been 2 years now and believe me - there is NO WAY I could ever go back!

+1 for the previous comment... i work outside the home & we just had our first about a year ago, but i hired cleaners to come in twice a month a few years ago and it is easily some of the best money we budget every month. it means i get my precious weekends back to spend with my child, it means i don't spend all week fretting about when i'm going to find time to clean the bathrooms or mop the floors (the worst of the chores, in my opinion). if my husband said we could only afford either cable OR the cleaning help, I would give up TV in a heartbeat and that is saying a LOT because i love love love TV. Plus, the way i look at it is they do it way more efficiently than I do, and bring their own cleaning gear, so when you take that, add in how much longer it would take me and how much we spend on cleaning supplies, i'd say it's darn near a wash. You will be so so so happy you did this. My only advice is that it is really hard to be in the house while they are there cleaning, (we book ours during the week while everyone is at work/school, but sometimes I WFH on Fridays and I definitely feel like I'm in the way, plus it is a LITTLE weird to be in your house watching someone else clean it) so use that 2-3 hrs to take Willa to the park or Dexter for a walk, or whatever, just a great excuse to leave the house and then come home to clean and fabulousness!

One thing I try to remember is that there are people out there who can make my life easier, and I can pay them for their help. That is hardly entitlement - it is a 100% symbiotic relationship, and absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about for a second.

Even if I lost my job tomorrow and ended up staying home with my baby (fingers crossed ;)) I would still figure out a way to keep my cleaners. Who knew $200 a month could make me so very very happy??

You could also consider it as helping the economy - or at the very least giving work to one person who needs it. I'm so sorry for your health issues.

For some, it takes courage to accept help. And patience and acceptance, too. It's ok to take care with yourself and take care of yourself.

Hopefully after a while you will adjust to having the little boost you need and it will feel good knowing that, while your husband is away from home providing for you and Willa, the rest of everything else that needs to be done during those long hours won't fall so heavily on your shoulders.

I think this will be good for you and for your family. A little less stress could go a long way. :)

You know that I'm a big believer in help in the cleaning department. Our lady is awesome if you need a recommendation. We need to get together soon.

First- I can't IMAGINE the pain you're having with your shoulder. I have an uncle who was a Navy Seal- A NAVY SEAL!- and he had to have shoulder surgery from an injury and said that the pain from the injury was the worst thing he'd ever experienced. And I'm sure he did/saw some crazy stuff in the Navy. gah. How the hell are you dealing while caring for a toddler??

Second- I completely know what you mean about feeling weird about hiring people to help you. We hired a cleaning person for twice a month when Maggie was about 5 months old. I was starting to work more & still adjusting to Motherhood and I just couldn't keep up. We decided that rather than me spending half of our weekend cleaning our house, it was worth cutting into our budget and having someone help out, and then we could spend time as a family instead. BEST DECISION EVER. But the weird part for me? My mom was a cleaning lady for 20 years, the entire time I was growing up. So yeah. THAT was a weird transition.

(My mom is no longer a cleaning lady, she has a full-time job in a lab, so that makes it less weird. But still, I feel awkward like I'm all fancy and entitled when SERIOUSLY I just don't have the time or energy to clean my own toilets. heh)

I hope the mother's helper gives you the break you need. Every moment helps!

Sounds like your other commenters already said what I was going to say: no jugement here. If I could afford a cleaning lady, I totally would. That's their job, and your job is to stay healthy for Willa. Fair and fair.
Hope it all works out; I'm sure it will:)

Ditto to all of the above (creative of me, right). I can imagine that to lessen what you try to do with your shoulder will only benefit you and your family. I hope this means less stress and that you can become more comfortable with the help.

Its an important thing to learn the lessons of humility (by that I mean humbleness, not shame). We are limited people, not super-women, and when we allow others to help us in an honorable way, we are accepting our limitations with humbleness and honor. It also makes it easier on those that have to help us, if we are cheerful and accepting of their help. I speak from painful experience (no pun intended).

Why feel guilty? If it makes you feel better and gives you more quality time with your family then it is money well spent and you deserve the help.

I need to get working on my new blog listed, former TheStolenOlive...

Thank you for this post. We are partially in the same boat. I am having brain surgery in 73 days. I will basically be helpless for anywhere from 3weeks to 3 months.

I don't have any kids, but I don't have a hubs either. I am very independent (to the point of being unable to comprehend even dating much less marriage... because I don't "need" anyone).

These next 6 months are going to be a huge learning curve for me. And I'm going to have to learn how to accept help. But I love the idea of cleaning help.. I'm going to do that soon.

If Willa needed any sort of help to make her life as happy and painfree as possible - speech therapy, physical therapy, whatever - you wouldn't rest until she got it. You must do the same for yourself. Because taking care of yourself IS taking care of Willa (& hubby!) It would be more "spoiled" to insist on continuing down a difficult path that's unnecessary based on pride or self-consciousness. You're doing the right thing. I hope you get some relief from the shoulder problems soon. You are a trooper!

Dude, I have cleaning twice a month just CAUSE.

DO IT.

And know that we're all rooting for you.