This has a topic that I've been wanting to write about for a long time.
There seems to be this trend on the internet, specifically in the blogging community- Who is suffering the most?
I remember when I lost my first pregnancy people left comments with undertones of "Well, at least you can GET pregnant". Someone even had the gall to tell me to get over it- that her mother had carried a baby to full term and then had a still birth.
Someone is always suffering more than you.
You had a miscarriage? They've had two.
Your father died? Their spouse died.
When did misery become a competition?
It seems that in order to gain support you must have a hard time. You need to suffer from infertility, or have multiple miscarriages, or be broke, or have an illness, or have a child with physical or developmental delays.
And even if you are suffering from something, rest assured, there is always someone who has it worse.
Is this really human nature? If so, this makes me so sad.
Why can't we be happy for someone when something goes their way?
Money, in particular, seems to be a very touchy subject among bloggers.
I myself, have restricted what I've written about for fear that I would be judged.
When I did the first ad campaign for Nikon they gave me a free D80 camera.
There was a period where, before the ad came out, I wasn't allowed to talk about where I got the camera from or the ad campaign.
I actually hid the fact that I had the D80 until the ad came out because I knew there would be a few people who would say things like "Weren't you just complaining about not having any money? How can you afford that camera?"
There is a lot of assuming going on by people who read blogs.
There are many other things I've been hesitant to write about because people would assume that I have money. And people who have money are obviously spoiled brats.
I have this stroller. It costs about $1,000. My mother-in-law bought it for us. I also have a cleaning lady that my mother-in-law pays for.
We have a car- in Manhattan. It was given to me when my grandmother passed away. The parking in our building is free because my husband is a chief resident.
But what if I had paid for those things myself?
Why is it wrong for people to work hard and reward themselves?
And what if they didn't work hard? What if their family has money? What if they have never known what it is like to struggle financially? Does that make their trials and tribulations or their tragedies any less painful or real? Can someone who is financially stable not be a kind, thoughtful, humble person?
I'm not saying you can't envy someone, or even be a little bit jealous, but why do you need to spew hate at them?
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence it seems. So, while someone might have something that you covet, I'm sure that you have something that they want as well.
Doesn't it make for better karma to be happy and supportive of other people and their triumphs?
I don't agree with everything that people who write the blogs I read do or say. And I think it is perfectly healthy to have friendly debates. But, I would never intentionally insult someone or say something mean to them, no matter how strongly I might disagree with them.
And sure, there are some assholes out there blogging. But, they usually say controversial things just to get attention, so when you leave an obnoxious comment you are just feeding their fire.
So, here's my unsolicited advice-
Don't assume things. You can't possibly know all the details from one (or even several) blog entries.
If you don't have anything nice to say- DON'T SAY ANYTHING. See that little red x at the top of the page? Click it, and move on. No one is forcing you to read someone's blog.
I have several friends who get paid to blog. This does not mean they should write about what you want them to write about. You wouldn't email your favorite author and tell them that their last book was boring and you liked their books better before they had a child, or moved, or whatever other life changing thing happened to them that you think "changed" their writing. You are not paying to read their blog so, again, if you don't like what you read, MOVE ON.
Thank you for being such a good listener.