Best Friends
May 08, 2008
March 04, 2008
Keeping me very busy these days
January 21, 2008
She reads it for the articles
December 20, 2007
All I want for Christmas....
Look who has their two front teeth:
December 02, 2007
Bright Eyed
November 01, 2007
Opening a can of worms
So, we started feeding Willa solids a couple of days after she turned five months.
Our pediatrician wanted us to wait until Willa was six months old (the current guideline).
Some people may not agree with us not listening to our pediatrician, but I just knew she was ready for solids.
The recommendation used to be four months, but because of the rise in children with food allergies, doctors now recommend waiting until six months.
We debated about whether or not Willa was ready, but we finally decided she was because:
No one in either my family or my husband's family has any food allergies.
She was exhibiting all of the signs that she was ready, including grabbing at our food.
She is physically the size of a six month old (she's 90% for height and 75% for weight).
Only time will tell if we made the right decision, but I'm interested to hear what you guys have to say.
How old was your child when you started them on solids?
Does your child have any food allergies?
October 15, 2007
Five Months
Dear Willa,
One of my favorite bloggers (she had me over to her house for dinner once and she made me an ice cream sundae with caramel sauce and M&M's and then we stuck Cheerios to her dog's head- how could I not like her?) writes a letter to her daughter every month. I am horrible writer, and I don't have a lot of free time, so I can't/won't do this every month, but I had a few things to say.
You are such a good baby. I would never call you an easy baby- you constantly need stimulation, but there have been entire days when you didn't cry once. You smile and laugh all the time. I especially love when you wake up in the morning. You are in such a good mood, and you're all warm and snugly. Sometimes I'll bring you into bed with me and you will snuggle next to me and smile while you touch my face. Those are my favorite moments- all of us in bed together.
Your beauty scares me. I never tell you that you are beautiful; I tell you that you are smart. I don't ever want you to rely on your looks to get ahead in life. At first I thought maybe I just thought you were stunning because you were mine, but everywhere we go people comment on your beauty. People actually stop me on the street and in stores to marvel at you. You look up at them with your big blue eyes and smile. I must admit that I'm happy that you are strapped into your stroller because I'm afraid that someone might run off with you.
You love the animals. You watch them with a look of fascination on your face and you laugh and try to talk to them whenever they walk by. We are teaching you how to be gentle with them, and so far you are doing a good job.
They love you too.
When you were a few weeks old I resisted giving you a bottle because I was afraid you wouldn't want to breast feed. Well, we had a great lactation consultant who showed us the right way to use a bottle and we never had a problem. Now we have a problem, but it's the opposite of what I was afraid of. Having someone give you a bottle is not as convenient as it sounds. Every time you have a bottle I still need to drain my breasts, so I have to pump. You are a very quick eater, so it's usually just easier for me to breast feed you. We went a couple of weeks without giving you a bottle, and now you REFUSE to take one. You only want the boob. This means that I can't leave you alone for more than a couple of hours. I'm glad you like me, but it would be nice to be able to go see a movie with your father once in a while.
You are not a big sleeper. You take after your father. This is very odd for me, because I come from a family of big sleepers. Even the adults take naps. Before you came along I was sleeping 9-10 hours a night. You take two (three if I'm lucky) 1/2 hour naps a day. That's it. At night you wake up several times. I am very tired. God forbid you poop in the middle of the night because then it's party time and you don't want to go back to sleep. At least that's something you get from me- you get really happy after you poop.
You LOVE trees and plants. You get very excited when you see the trees swaying in the wind. You laugh and babble and kick your feet. I love that you love nature and it makes me feel guilty for living in the city.
You also love water. Your favorite time of day is bath time. When your father is home he likes to give you a bath. I usually stand in the kitchen making dinner listening to him singing songs while you splash.
You are totally a daddy's girl and sometimes when I watch you two together I think my heart might burst. The love that I feel is so overwhelming that I forget to breathe.
You love books or anything with writing on it and you love when we sing to you. You try to sing along.
You are very healthy and strong. You've been rolling over from front to back for a while while now (you were a day shy of six weeks the first time you did it!) and th other day your father put you down in th middle of the bed on your back and when he turned back around you were on your belly. He was stunned. You were smiling, obviously proud of your accomplishment.
You are so awesome that I admit that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like there is no way the universe could have gifted me with such a fantastic child, and it's all going to be taken away from me.
I hardly told anyone that we had a health scare with you recently. You have a lump in your leg. I was terrified that it was something horrible. That the doctor might say the "C" word to us, but it turns out that it was just a reaction to a shot you got. I have never been so relieved in my life.
There's something I want to thank you for. I don't know how I would have gotten through my father dying without you. Your smile is infectious, and without you I probably would have been curled up on the floor crying. Thank you for giving me a purpose and for being such a wonderful distraction.
When I was a little girl all of my friends wanted to be ballerinas, or veterinarians, or doctors. I just wanted to be a mother. That's all I've wanted my whole life.
You were worth the wait.
October 07, 2007
Badass Willa
Part of a new series I put together called "My Kid Has More Style Than Me".
September 28, 2007
Rules for baby girls
If you are a girl baby:
-You must wear pink at all times, otherwise, even if you are wearing a dress, people will ask if you are a boy.
- You CAN'T wear blue. God forbid. Everyone knows that only boys can wear blue.
-Don't even THINK about wearing anything sports related because as someone said to me once "But that's BOY clothing."
-Your stroller should be pink or purple or covered in butterflies. Only boys ride in blue or black strollers.
-You can't wear jeans (unless it's a jean skirt) because OBVIOUSLY boys wear jeans. Even if the stitching on the jeans is PINK.
-You must have hair, otherwise you must be a boy.
To clarify:
Hair = Girl
Bald = Boy
This explains why people do this to their children.
I hope I've made myself clear.
Obviously a boy:
September 26, 2007
It doesn't get any better than this
August 21, 2007
RIP
My dad died on Saturday.
I visited him on Friday (my birthday) and he wasn't doing very well. I asked him if he wanted me to cancel my weekend trip and he said to me "That's the last thing I want you to do. Go have fun."
I spoke to his doctor and asked her if I should cancel my trip and she said "I haven't placed him on critical watch yet, so I think he'll be fine through the weekend." I asked her how much longer she thought he had and she said "A week. Two weeks top."
I sat in the chair next to my dad's bed and wept while he was sleeping.
I kissed my dad on the forehead, said I would be back Monday morning, told him I loved him, and left the hospital.
I reluctantly left for my trip to Massachusetts on Friday night. II was supposed to sing at the Guthrie Center on Saturday night. It took us 4 1/2 hours to drive there, through pouring rain. We got there at 11:30pm.
On Saturday morning at 10am I got a call from the hospital saying that my dad's blood pressure was low and they were going to place him on critical watch to be cautious. I asked his doctor if I should drive back and she said "If you're asking me if I think he'll die today the answer is no, but there's always a possibility. Why don't you call me back at 3:00 to check on him because I will have re-evaluated him by then."
At 3pm I called and the nurse told me the doctor wouldn't be available until 4pm.
At 4pm I was breast feeding Willa when the phone rang. It was the hospital calling to tell me my father had died.
My first instinct was to feel guilty about the fact that my father died alone.
But the more people I talk to, the more I'm starting to believe that my father didn't want me to watch him die.
My nephew told me that when I was out of the room when we visited him on Wednesday, my father said to him "I'm in a lot of pain. I don't have much longer. Don't tell Torrie , I don't want to ruin her Birthday."
Another thing that in a strange way made me feel better is that my dad's dog died on Thursday. He was nine years old, had no known medical problems, and had just been walking around and wagging his tail that morning. He just went to sleep and didn't wake up. Thursday was the day my dad really started to go downhill (I think he waited until Saturday to let go because he didn't want to ruin my Birthday). I think his dog just didn't want to live without him. We didn't tell my father that his dog died. They are together now.
I have spent the last three days visiting the funeral home, writing lists, making DOZENS of phone calls, and planning two memorial services. All with a baby suckling at my breast. You can't imagine how hard it is to call people and tell them that their friend died. My dad had a lot of friends.
I am on auto-pilot. I don't think it's really sunk in yet that my father is gone.
Tomorrow The New York Times will be doing a featured obituary on my dad. I'll try to link to it if I can.
* Update- they didn't make it to press in time. I think it will be in tomorrow's paper. I'll update when they let me know.
I have had several people people ask me where they can make a donation in my dad's honor.
Here are two options:
The American Cancer Society
or
The QAR project
You have no idea how much all of your kind words and support have meant to me.
*Update-Here's an article about my dad.
August 06, 2007
The sunshine on my cloudy day
July 05, 2007
So cute it hurts
June 27, 2007
Nothing else matters
June 21, 2007
One of those days
I have mastitis.
It is causing me to have a 102 degree fever, chills, dizziness, exhaustion, and lots of pain .
This would normally be awesome, but it is especially awesome, because my oldest friend is getting married this weekend. And I'm a bridesmaid. And I'm making the wedding cake. And the wedding is three hours away.
To add to the fun:
-I made a big batch of buttercream icing only to discover that I had bought SALTED butter.
Anyone want some salty icing?
-I went to pick up my bridesmaid dress today. I have gone back twice to have it altered correctly. It still doesn't fit right.
I got in my elevator after walking the twelve blocks (round trip) in the heat, with my fever, only to realize that one of the detachable straps was missing. I desperately need the straps, otherwise everyone at the wedding is going to see some boobs for free. The lady at the tailor didn't secure the straps, AND didn't close the bottom of the bag that the dress was in.
I cried in the elevator.
Then, I had to retrace my steps to try and find the strap.
I found it.
That is about the only thing that has gone my way today.
Did I mention that I'm also taking care of a five-week old?
At least she's cute.
May 25, 2007
Trying to distract you from the fact that I still haven't posted the birth story
May 21, 2007
Introducing...
Willa Elizabeth!
Born on May 15th at 2:30 pm
6lbs. 6oz.
19 inches
Story coming soon....
April 24, 2007
Music to my ears
Words I can not hear enough of when uttered by a sonogram technician:
Perfect
Excellent
Just right
Right on target
Beautiful
Spunky
Today I had my 36 weeks sonogram. (I'll be 36 weeks in two days.)
The baby was measuring 5 1/2- 6 lbs (PERFECT!).
The above picture does not do justice to how awesome this ultrasound was. My mother and my husband were there too.
We got to see her face (I burst into tears), her fists, her little feet kicking me in the ribs, her butt, her tummy (so round), and her brain (I may be biased, but it looked big to me).
She even got the hiccups during the ultrasound.
Her umbilical cord is not wrapped around her neck (Mine was and I almost died during my birth).
The placenta and the amniotic fluid looked great.
I am on cloud nine.
April 06, 2007
Next person who calls my belly small gets punched directly in the crotch
February 24, 2007
February 05, 2007
Real
This picture is part of a new photo series I'm doing called "The realities of pregnancy and motherhood".
Don't get me wrong- I'm thrilled to be pregnant- I just feel like most people aren't honest about what it's REALLY like to be pregnant, or to be a mother.
I'm curious-
What surprised you most about pregnancy and /or motherhood?
You don't have to have been pregnant or a mother to answer this question- if you've never been pregnant, or a mother, but watched someone else go through it, what surprised you most?
January 31, 2007
How I spent my day
I was less than thrilled.
My back has gotten so bad that almost nothing is worth sitting in an uncomfortable chair for hours on end. Not even Martha.
January 22, 2007
Completely Normal
What?
Am I the only one who wears an afro wig and a tiara while watching American Idol?
(Photo taken by Schnozz.)
January 02, 2007
I have no title for this post
On Thursday night we went out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant with a couple of friends. One of my friends ordered what appeared to be a beautifully plated appetizer:
Then we realized that there were Pringles sticking out of it. Who would have thought potato chips would be considered garnish?
On Saturday a friend of ours gave us a present to celebrate the fact that we are having a girl. It seemed like an adorable little outfit, until we saw the tag:
Is it just me, or is that a really demented way to describe an outfit that an infant will be wearing?
I hope you all had as good a New Year's Eve as we did.
December 12, 2006
Caption This Image
Because I certainly don't know what the hell to call it.
November 30, 2006
15 weeks- POP!
Check it out:
I totally have a bump!
Wait.
Why are you laughing?
Shut up! It totally IS a bump.
Maybe next week I'll take some bump pictures with my belly covered because then you can really notice the bump (and then maybe all those fucking perverts will stop favoriting my belly pictures on Flickr).
Also, I don't think I wrote about this, but I was having trouble eating enough. I hadn't gained any weight in about three weeks and I had only gained 3lbs total.
Well, sooooo not a problem anymore. I've gained 3 lbs in the last week and a half and I'm eating ALL THE TIME.
Really.
I have a friend I keep wanting to call, and I realized today that the reason I haven't found time in the past couple of days to call her, is because every time I think of it I'm eating something and I don't want to chew in her ear.
I might need to make an exception to the it's not polite to chew in someone's ear rule, otherwise I might never talk to anyone on the phone again until I give birth.
I want to slap the me from two weeks ago who was all "I can't eat enough! Whaa whaa whaa!"
And I'm sure 40 week me will want to say to me from two weeks ago "Remember when you were all where's my bump? Well here's your fucking bump! Happy?!"
November 20, 2006
Who is this man?
Last night I shaved off my husband's goatee.
This might not seem like a big deal to most of you, but we've been together for 9 1/2 years, and I've never actually seen his face.
We have talked many times over the years about shaving it off, but we never got around to actually doing it.
It was always "I can't believe we are living together and I've never actually seen your face" or "I can't believe we are engaged and I've never actually seen your face" or "I can't believe we are married and I've never actually seen your face".
You get the idea.
So I guess now that I'm carrying this man's baby, I wanted to make sure he wasn't hiding anything from me under that wiry mass of hair.
So, last night we bit the bullet.
To say I was freaked out would be an understatement.
Here is the before:
Here it is after I shaved off the bottom part so that he could have a porn star mustache for a few minutes:
This was the point where I started to get REALLY freaked out.
This is pretty much how my face looked for the rest of the shaving:
Quite possibly the best picture ever taken of me.
This is about a fifth of the hair that came off his face:
Here is the after picture in which the husband looks stoned because his family has some weird genetic mutation which makes it virtually impossible for them to keep their eyes open for pictures:
Here is a closeup:
He's going to close shave it today (I just used the electric clipper last night) so we can get the full effect.
Then, he's immediately going to start the process of growing it back so that I stop rocking back and forth and mumbling to myself.
November 08, 2006
Update
The baby is "perfect"!
The baby is "perfect"!
Maybe we are actually going to have this baby!
All this AND Britney files for divorce from K-Fed, the democrats kick the republicans' ass, AND Donald Rumsfeld resigns!?
Oh happy day!
Did I mention that they said the baby looks "perfect"?
Here's a picture of the baby sucking its thumb:
To see a couple of more sonogram pictures check out my Flickr page.
October 30, 2006
The RIGHT way
We went out with friends on Friday night.
While we waited for our table at Serendipity, we walked down the street to Dylan's Candy Bar.
One of my friends decided to have some sourpatch kids.
I watched in horror as he haphazardly popped two or three in his mouth at a time.
I explained to him that there was a right way to eat sourpatch kids- that you must savor them.
He argued that there are "different" ways of doing things. That people have different "opinions".
And then in a feable attempt to prove me wrong, he shoved all of his remaining sourpatch kids in his mouth.
Dammit people!- there is a right and a wrong way to do things, and that's just WRONG.
I'm still twitching.
October 27, 2006
This is why I love her
Tracy made this picture for me.
(The picture was too wide to post here, so you'll have to click on the link.)
If you don't get it, watch this.
October 26, 2006
So happy
I went to the docotor today because I was having some shooting pains.
It turns out that the pain was just from my uterus expanding so rapidly.
I had an awesome sonogram. The baby was moving around and the heartbeat was strong.
If you click on the picture you'll see notes explaining what you're looking at.
This is the farthest I've ever gotten in a pregnancy.
October 17, 2006
Internet, this is what it has come to
October 10, 2006
Update
The sonogram was perfect!
Baby had a strong heart beat!
October 06, 2006
The newest member of our household
Thanks to my mother-in-law and my husband's work allowance.
It will be used mostly for the research my husband will be doing, but I will cherish what little time I have with it.
October 03, 2006
No longer unemployed
So, um, apparently I'm a photographer now. I thought it was pretty cool when a couple of my pictures were featured in the Style Section of The New York Times, the German magazine Max, and several websites, but then I was chosen to be a part of Nikon's new national ad campaign for their new camera, the D80:
I can not even begin to describe what an honor this is.
Starting tomorrow (October 4th) one of my photographs will also be featured on their website. * I just found out that it might be a couple of more days before my picture is on the website.
I've also been doing some head shot/portrait type stuff, including pictures for Heather.
It is so wonderful to be recognized for something that you are so passionate about.
*Update- If you are interested in seeing the ad in person, here is a list of the magazines it is running in:
Shutterbug
Outdoor Photographer
Pc Photo
Popular Photography
Demystifiying Digital
Popular Science
PC World
MacWorld
Family Fun
Parents
T&L Family
National Geographic
National Geographic Adventurer
National Geographic Traveler
Outside
Travel & Leisure
Newsweek
Time
US News & World Report
People
September 18, 2006
Third Time's the Charm?
-My arms look like this
-I can't go to Stanley
-I just ate crackers for breakfast
-I refuse to get a manicure even though I could really use one
-I am so hungry that if I don't get food NOW I will kill everyone within a three block radius
-I burst into tears over how in love I am with my husband
-I am apprehensively happy
September 13, 2006
Per your request
September 03, 2006
On Vacation
The husband and I are leaving today for a week's vacation.
We'll be spending a few days at my mom's in the Poconos, and a few days here.
I probably won't be posting much while I'm gone, if at all.
I might post some pictures on Flickr.
Have a great week!
August 29, 2006
For those of you who complain that I never smile....
Happy now???
August 25, 2006
Rockin' the Bershon
If you don't read Sarah Brown's blog you are missing out on some of the most clever writing on the internet.
She's also the creator of bershon.
August 16, 2006
A new beginning
Today is my last day in my twenties.
In my twenties I have:
- Met, fell in love with, and married my husband.
- Graduated from culinary school, worked my way up to executive pastry chef, and won a gold medal at a culinary competition
- Had three surgeries, including a career ending shoulder surgery.
- Adopted Dexter, Mookie, and Itsy.
- Lost my beloved Grandmother.
- Had two of my photographs published in The New York Times.
- Made many great friends.
- Left my comfort zone and moved to a new city.
- Been pregnant twice and lost both pregnancies.
- Found out my father has terminal cancer.
- Started eating better.
- Gained 27 pounds.
- Lost 8 of those pounds.
- Discovered and fell in love with the internet.
- Read too many books to count.
- Had LOTS of sex.
- Learned a lot about myself.
- Stopped letting people walk all over me.
- Became a brunette.
- Almost come to terms with my nose.
- Learned a lot about myself.
It's funny; I use to think I needed to accomplish everything by the time I turned 30. Now that 30 is here, in some ways, I feel like my life is just beginning.
I'm excited to see what's in store for my thirties.
August 12, 2006
For those who care, some info about my hair
An update on this post about my hair.
I finally made a decision about my hair. It was about time considering the ends of my hair had turned blonde and the roots were brown. It was NOT a flattering look.
Also, I switched hairdressers. My old hairdresser was all right, but both times I lost the pregnancies I had seen him the day before. Call me superstitious, but it was time for a change.
I decided I wanted a layered cut and to dye it brown.
Here is the result:
Please excuse the lack of make up and the luggage I'm packin' under my eyes.
*update* Here's what it looks like when I let it dry naturally (In the picture above it had been blown staright.)
July 06, 2006
Happy Birthday...
... to my sweet little boy. He turns six today!
They grow up fast.
For more pictures of Dexter click here.
June 29, 2006
Starfish
June 28, 2006
I'm the luckiest girl in the world
Today is our three year wedding anniversary.
When the rest of my life is a mess, at least I know I got one thing right.
June 23, 2006
Best sign EVER
June 19, 2006
Vote
Internet I have a VERY important and life changing decision that I need your help with:
Should I stay brunette or go back to blonde?
I was a blonde for 27 years and then I started dyeing my hair brown
It was fun, but to be honest, I don't really feel like myself.
I was always "Torrie with the long blonde hair".
So, here are some examples of the blonde me:
(It's kind of hard to get the full effect on these small pictures, so click on them to view the larger size.
There are a couple of more examples on Flickr.
And here a few examples of the brunette me:
June 16, 2006
Dexter on Blue
